So this popular phrase that says that friends don’t lie, for the longest time, I actually really wanted to believe that, It sounds pure, it sounds really ideal and yes, It sounds like the kind of friendship we all hope to have, honest, loyal, safe.
But life has a way of softening those hard statements.
I had a friend once, we used to be really close at some point, you know the kind of closeness where you do not even think twice before sharing things with each other, we always talked about random stuff, serious stuff, silly stuff even naughty stuff, she knew alot of my online friends too, she was someone I really trusted.
I remember one particular time that she lied, but she lied to protect me, and I knew it, It was not even something she confessed about immediately, but I could tell that she had lied, yes the situation was messy, and instead of her throwing me under the bus, she covered for me.
Later, after few days , when I confronted her, she just shrugged and said, "I didnt want it to affect you na,that's why"
And honestly, I did really appreciated it that, see I won’t even lie o, in that moment, her lie felt like loyalty to me, It felt like she chose me, It made me feel safe, a time some people started saying we were lesbians lol... That's funny, sometimes we would go with the flow and laugh about it.
But then as time went on, I started noticing something else about her, she was not just lying to protect me, she lied about small things to me, some very nnecessary things, things that just didn’t even need lying about.
At first, I had to ignored it, I told myself that Nobody is perfect, so I tried to overlook it when I could, I would just brush it aside and act like it really didn’t matter, because when you care about someone, you don’t want to magnify their flaws.
But there were moments I could not ignore, moments where I would pause mid conversation and think, did she just twist that story? Mehnnnn sometimes I would call her out on it.
"Bae , Ahn Ahn, why would you lie about that na?” I would ask her.
And she would laugh it off. “It is not that serious na , you chill.”
Maybe to her it was not, but then to me it was, it started to chip at something, trust isn’t always broken in one big dramatic moment, you see sometimes it slowly cracks with small small, repeated things.
And that was when I realized something important, that friends are human before they are friends, they have flaws too, they have habits, they have defense mechanisms, some people lie because they are scared,some lie because it is easier for them , some of them don’teven realize how often they do it.
Well, eventually, we drifted, there was not one huge fight or explosion, we just… stopped talking, and then sometimes I think about it, not with anger, just st with understanding.
So do I believe that “friends don’t lie”? Hmmm, I don’t think it is that simple anymore.
I think true friends try not to lie to each other at least, i think they should value honesty, but I also know that people mess up, the real question is not whether a friend has ever lied, It is whether there is accountability, growth, and respect.
See me I hav learned that friendship is not about perfection, It is about consistency, trust, and being able to look someone in the eye and feel safe with the truth.
And to be honest, once that safety starts to fade away, even is it is slowly, the same friendship starts to change too.
