Los dos hombres apuntaron su linterna hacia el viejo árbol donde en sus días de infancia solían trepar y columpiarse. La mirada de Julián se centró en esa parte concreta de la finca donde la rama se iluminaba con una dura impresión alejando la oscuridad, aún sin entender lo que estaba pasando, sus ojos se llenaron de lágrimas cuando con inseguridad, se fijó en aquel papel arrugado junto al puñal que apuñalaba la dura corteza.
The two men pointed their flashlight towards the old tree where in their childhood days they used to climb and swing. Julian's gaze focused on that particular part of the estate where the branch was illuminated with a hard impression pushing away the darkness, still not understanding what was happening, his eyes filled with tears when with insecurity, he noticed that crumpled paper next to the dagger stabbing the hard bark.
Julián
Todo ha cambiado a mi alrededor. Las cosas ya no fluyen para mí, son forzadas y desagradables, lo que indica que todo se ha ido a la mierda. Pero las cosas podrían haber sido mejores, a pesar de estar confundido y disperso en razones absurdas que sólo me llevaban al resentimiento, ahora veo claramente que podría haberlo hecho mejor.
Everything has changed around me. Things no longer flow for me, they are forced and unpleasant, indicating that everything has gone to shit. But things could have been better, despite being confused and scattered in absurd reasons that only led me to resentment, I now see clearly that I could have done better.
I try to do my part to accept and understand your reasons, especially your feelings, but all this makes me sick and it's becoming a stretch that I can't learn to live with.
Hermano te pido disculpas por ser así. Lo siento, pero no puedo apoyarte, no me gusta lo que eres ahora. Te admiraba, quería ser como tú, un hombre fuerte, responsable, trabajador y con suerte con las chicas.Ahora entiendo muchas cosas por las que no te diste una oportunidad con ninguna. Descubrir tu mentira fue muy duro, me has decepcionado tanto que no soporto ir por esta vida con esta rabia carcomiendo mi corazón y mi alma. Por eso he contemplado la idea de...
Brother I apologize for being like this. I'm sorry, but I can't support you, I don't like what you are now. I admired you, I wanted to be like you, a strong man, responsible, hardworking and lucky with girls. Now I understand a lot of things why you didn't give yourself a chance with any of them.
Discovering your lie was very hard, you have disappointed me so much that I can't bear to go through this life with this rage eating away at my heart and soul. That's why I've contemplated the idea of...
He llorado demasiado aquí bajo este árbol, busco alivio, pero no se va, el dolor se ha instalado en mi pecho y no creo que sea temporal. Tal vez tú no tengas la culpa de todo esto, tal vez sea yo con mis creencias machistas y mi mente cerrada que no me deja conocerte como realmente eres. Pero lo cierto es que tengo unas ganas tremendas de destruir al que considero culpable de tu cambio y el causante de mi dolor, pero no puedo destruir al que te importa, lo dejaste claro cuando lo elegiste a él antes que a mí que soy tu hermano.
I have cried too much here under this tree I look for relief, but it doesn't go away, the pain has settled in my chest and I don't think it is temporary. Maybe you are not to blame for all this, maybe it's me with my macho beliefs and my closed mind that does not let me know you as you really are. But the truth is that I have a tremendous desire to destroy the one I consider guilty of your change and the cause of my pain, but I can not destroy the one you care about, you made it clear when you chose him over me who am your brother.
Necesito poner fin al sufrimiento del que no he podido escapar, y es que la tristeza y el deseo de venganza se entrelazan para conseguir motivos suficientes para destruirme. Porque siento que mi esperanza ha sido abandonada y que los planes que tenía contigo, hermano, ya no pueden ser, se esfumaron como los anhelos, no le encuentro sentido a nada. Todo ha sido reemplazado por un sentimiento de rabia y un vacío terrible, no creo que pueda hermano, en serio no podré pretender que pueda lidiar con todo esto, no podré soportar lo que la gente dirá de ti cuando todo esto estalle, no puedo tolerar que estés enamorado de otro hombre y que sea tu pareja.
I need to put an end to the suffering from which I have not been able to escape, and it is that sadness and the desire for revenge are intertwined to get enough reasons to destroy me. Because I feel that my hope has been abandoned and that the plans I had with you, brother, can no longer be, they vanished like the longings, I find no sense in anything. Everything has been replaced by a feeling of rage and a terrible emptiness, I don't think I can brother, I seriously won't be able to pretend that I can deal with all this, I won't be able to stand what people will say about you when all this blows up, I can't tolerate that you are in love with another man and that he is your partner.
Elijo morir para descansar de esta situación que me parece insostenible. No soporto que seas homosexual. Sólo quiero descansar de ser un bastardo egoísta.
I choose to die to rest from this situation that I find untenable. I can't stand that you're a homosexual. I just want to rest from being a selfish bastard.
Julián sólo pudo arrodillarse ante el cadáver de su hermano y pedir perdón por algo de lo que no era culpable.
— Pediré perdón al cielo por ti Josué, para que descanses en paz hermano.
Julian could only kneel before the corpse of his brother and ask forgiveness for something he was not guilty of.
— I will ask heaven's forgiveness for you Joshua, so that you may rest in peace brother.
