Before 2025 started, I already declared that this year would be my best year so far. I deliberately made plans and choices I knew would add to my bucket of good things. It was an everyday choice to look at the better parts of every situation or see what the unpleasant experiences were trying to teach me.
And to be honest, it worked. The first part of the year was the best. It wasn't perfect, but I really felt in my heart the rawness of joy and gratefulness. That motivated me to do better and be better.
I tried a lot of firsts (currently in the process of finishing 30 firsts! Will talk more about this once the list is completed), and that opened doors for a bigger world for me. I was able to try things I never imagined I could or would do. I was genuinely happy.
But of course, life likes to do checks and balances. We can't only have positive experiences, yknow. So, yes. Middle part of the year, I received my fair share of heartbreak and dim days ('cause it wasn't too dark, after all).
During those moments, I felt a shift in me. It was harder to see the good parts no matter how much I would remind myself that "everything has a reason" or "it will make sense in time." Some days were bearable, but there were also days when I found myself wiping away tears I didn't know were coming.
It felt heavy and empty at the same time.
There was a point when I was already questioning why I had to go through those experiences again. I wanted this year to be the best, so why did I allow myself to be off track?
But now I see that maybe that was the point. Maybe I had to be off the road to be reminded that that's just how life is. It has lots of sudden turns and stoplights. And since I don't know how to drive, I just gotta trust where I am being brought to. It's an endless process.
The other day, I went on a staycation with someone. We prepaid quite a few activities we can do together, such as painting, building brick blocks, taste-testing different flavors of a certain drink, and walking around the area (while trying to make friends with super cute dogs! haha). But the thing was, my companion still had to work (remotely) the next day, and as someone who doesn't have an everyday job, I was left to find other things to do on my own.
That led me to having more time to paint.
I used to paint a lot several years back. But while trying new hobbies, that was pushed to the backseat for a while. I decided to try painting again a few weeks ago. To be honest, it was kind of frustrating because it felt like I forgot everything I used to do. I had to relearn the skill and accepted the fact that my first few tries won't be great... and that's okay.
What helped me really was watching process videos of other artists. I was able to get some tips and techniques on how to play around with my watercolor. Soon enough, the pressure in me was replaced by excitement.
I found myself painting one piece after the other, that when our staycation ended, I was able to gain 6 new mini paintings. Crazyyy.
I was proud of myself!
While was I making paint strokes and mixing colors, I also felt that something in me was healing. It was as if painting brought me to a different universe, which reminded me that the world is so much bigger than myself and my emotions.
When we are in an extreme pain, there is a tendency for our brain to close our minds, leading us to see life as a small box. But through painting on my own, I was pulled back to the reality that just like the good things, pain and heartbreak are naturally part of the journey. They are stopovers we need to have. It is important to accept and check what it has in store for us. But also, we need to remember not to stay too long, else, we might miss the ride going to where we are actually headed to.
This year for me started out great. And although it had bumpy roads along the way, I am grateful to declare that my 2025 is ending in a good note as well.
So cheers for my best year yet! Just imagine how amazing the coming year would be.
Have a great day! Take caaareee.
herkeepsake
❤