Hi there! I remember half a year ago, when I was going through a hard time trying to overcome the sadness of my expat friends leaving Viet Nam, I told another American friend about how I felt.
Then he said one thing that made me mad: "Ugh! You gotta learn to let go of attachment, girl! I can let go of anything like that!"
After that I didn't want to talk to him anymore until a few weeks later, cause in my mind back then I was stuck with this idea: He is such a cold heart! It sounds like he only has very superficial connection with people!
And now, I'm sitting here sharing with you the idea of "letting go of attachment"!
And I'm 100% serious! 😊 Interesting how things change, people change and emotions change, right?
Now, before we start, here is the definition of "Attachment" that I'm talking about 🤗
Now you see the definition of "Attachment"!
Are you inneed of letting go of any of these things in your life? And I know if you are, then it must have been a really hard thing to do. And so I'm here to share with you my experience 😊
And again, these posts about Self Development are all my words from my own life experience. And everyone's experience is different from others.
I hope you enjoy mine and somehow it inspires you as well 💚
Alright, here's what to expect from this post:
- Attachment created in daily life and The beautiful and meaningful value of Attachment
- When things don't work out as you expected
- The mindset and the actions to take to let go of Attachment
- Happiness for life
1-- Attachment created in daily life and The beautiful and meaningful value of Attachment
To me, Attachment is a pure and beautiful thing that is created on the foundation of the amount of time and the investment that we spend for someone/something (which happens quickly or gradually), or the chemistry we have with someone (which happens quickly).
To be easy:
- You get a puppy dog and start to take care of him since he is 2 months old. You feed him, take him for walks, play with him, talk to him when you're sad... Imagine you doing that for 3 years seeing him grow to be a big boy - The more investment you put into this job, the more bonded you are with him! You love him and want to do anything you can for your little friend. You can't imagine someday you don't have him around anymore
That is Attachment!
And it is the same in a relationship, lots of time we go through real hard breakup and feel an empty hole in our heart, because we have already attached with that person so much, so much that you don't feel alive anymore when you two are apart! 😣
- Attachment also comes really quickly when you meet someone who you have great chemistry with. For me I don't believe in "Love at first sight", but I do believe in "Like at first sight", and with the flow of good chemistry, it urges you to want to spend more time to get to know someone. And if this comes with good compatibility, the Attachment between you two can be created in just a few weeks or a few days. Isn't it it interesting? 😊
(photo: internet)
How beautiful and meaningful it is?
You have someone/something to share your life with
You found the place to put your love on (if you are a loving person and have so much love to give - this is the best feeling to experience) 😊
You wake up everyday feeling loved, feeling excited that you have something to look forward to seeing and hearing from, to share another beautiful day with.
You see the future so bright, you are more inspired, you become a more possitive person... and so much more that only you know that I can't say enough! 💝
And so... when this comes to the point where that thing/person becomes SO IMPORTANT, TOO IMPORTANT to you already, YOU BECOME MORE SENSITIVE and SCARED OF LOSING IT!
2-- When things don't work out as you expected
(photo: internet)
Again, I know this is hard to even just mention.
Someday, when you are still there - so inlove and attached with your thing/your person, all of sudden you lose them, they either leave this life, they disapprear, or they start to act differently around you.
You start to feel strange, you start to feel less of excitement, feel less of fun?
You start to feel unwanted?
You start to doubt things, even doubt yourself?
You start to panic?
You start to feel hurt?
You start to think a lot and try to figure out why?
You start to do inappropriate things? Abandoning your health, your exciting life that you had before? You get distracted and lose all your inspiration?
Your life is all messed up
... and then you start to lose yourself! 😔
The power of Attachment can bring us real high feelings and can also be really powerful to destroy us physically and mentally!
3-- The mindset and the actions to take to let go of Attachment
💗 The key of mindset has two parts:
- Lots of times we look into ourselves to fix ourselves (that's the part that we can control)
- And at the same time, learn to let go of things outside that we can not control - Just because we deserve peace in our souls and hearts! And just because we all are not the victims of situations (I mentioned this in my post last month).
In this life, we all come here with expectation for what we do, low or high, there is always some expectation. No matter how old we are, men or women, how much life experiences we have got. I love to say this again: We are human, and the most beautiful thing about human being is "having emotions"!
And we never need to feel guilty for having emotions - Never ever!
Things change, people change, emotions change. That is the evolution of the universe.
When we realize this, it feels so much more relieved that we are not alone in this fight. In fact it's a beautiful experience to go through!
So now, imagine this:
Each person is a center of their own universe
They are surrounded by different circles of relationships, including big circles and small circles
You are a planet on one of those circles
With the movement of that person, of yourself, of the whole universe:
Today you are that planet at number 1, tomorrow you're at number 2, number 3, or maybe even number 8 or number... 101!
And by saying this, I mean:
At each stage of somebody's life, they have different things to prioritize. Lots of time that does not mean they don't like you anymore or they hate you... it's all about "Things change, people change, emotions change"!
The environment and everything else going on one's life bring big impact on their feelings which definately makes them change their actions accordingly.
When they start to get distant, lots of times it unintentionlly hurts you, and it hurts you badly!
💗 Actions to take:
- Work on the mindset - Yes, get back to working on the mindset, it is powerful! It works!
- Get back to nourishing yourself (I mentioned this on a post last week too 😊) - and by this I mean: Really prioritize yourself (just like that person, they are prioritizing themselves and what they are into at this stage of their lives too) - And this is 100% understandable!
- See new people and be open to try new things, fill up your life with new excitement
- And this last one is what I carry with me along the way: For anything that has passed, for anyone I have met, for any trauma I have gone through, and for anything or anyone who are with me now, at this stage of my life, for things and people gonna come into my life in the future, I call it my "panacea": It is APPRECIATION!
Appreciation makes me more present to enjoy the moment, to let go of what has gone, to be excited for what gonna come into my life.
It brings me joy and peace, and also, from it, I have learned to forgive... 😌💖
4-- Happiness for life
If you have reached it here, to this part of my post, I believe that you are a loving person who seeks good connection and happiness in your life too. I know everyone does.
And so, no matter how hard it is to let go of an Attachment - we must do this - And we are in this together!
We have no magic to change our emotions right away, and most of all, we have no magic to change people or convince them to get back to us.
As we all deserve to go for what we love and what we want, we deserve to be where we are wanted as well.
Lots of time, the mental pains in this universe come from people thinking that something or someone is irreplaceable - and that, without that thing or that person, we can hardly carry on with our lives!
But no, though everything is unique and irreplaceable - emotions can still change and move from this thing/person to another one!
That's why we need to give ourselves more chance to seek it in a larger ocean!
And in the meantime - Enjoy the best out of our solo journey here!
And hey! I'm gonna close my post here! 😊
I'm feeling a great energy overflowing my body already! 😎
In the last few days I have said goodbye to many people that I love, for different reasons.
And I was blaming at myself for: "Missing people that I should not miss, wanting to see people that I should not see again or there's probably no chance to meet again".
I know I have great Attachment with many people too and right now I'm actually doing these stages to let go of it. I know you're there, and I'm here! If you resonate with this, let me know as well!
I'm listening to my most favorite song of all time right now "In my life" by The Beatles, I'll drop the lyrics here for you!
Have a good day there and stay warm! 👨👨👧👧
Love 💖
Little Beatle ♫
In my life - The Beatles
There are places I'll remember
All my life though some have changed
Some forever, not for better
Some have gone and some remain
All these places have their moments
With lovers and friends I still can recall
Some are dead and some are living
In my life I've loved them all
But of all these friends and lovers
There is no one compares with you
And these memories lose their meaning
When I think of love as something new
Though I know I'll never lose affection
For people and things that went before
I know I'll often stop and think about them
In my life I love you more
Though I know I'll never lose affection
For people and things that went before
I know I'll often stop and think about them
In my life I love you more
In my life I love you more...