It has been a while since I wrote the continuation of this personal development. But in short, I am becoming a lot more comfortable with everything and being seen. I am currently doing more public facing jobs other than my job at the boutique consulting.

Body shaming does not bother me anymore, it motivates me

One of the things that used to scare me is the way I look and weight. During covid, I gained a lot of weight and since then, I am still struggling to lose it all. I was one of those people who during covid gained weight rather than losing it. For the past 2 years I’ve been losing and regained it all.

I waited for that moment until I was thin enough to be out there. I knew that I like to talk, to share, and being in public. Honestly, I get my energy by being out there and talking to people rather than isolating myself.

Recently, I saw a comment that basically made a remark on how fat I was, but this wasn’t just one person, many others in my new profession also made comments on my weight.

They didn’t know that the version I am now has lost more than 25 pounds since then.

But that's okay. It just means I am still far away from where I should.

Back in the day, I would probably be angry and quit what I am doing and resorted to comforting food. But I didn’t really quit this time. I stick with my intermittent fasting, working out and making a goal to myself to lose more given my job in the future will require me to look presentable.

“You’re working on your weight, you can change that, but you have the skills & you should never doubt that” – My beloved mom

My job requires us to walk miles sometimes due to locations of these infrastructures and even oil tankers that might not be accessible with just any vehicle. At the same time, when you mingle with executives even the B-level, they would expect people like me to have ideal weight and not overweight or even obese.

It’s a tradeoff being outside and not a recluse anymore.

Rather than going back into recluse and quitting because people commented on my weight, I just worked towards myself and changed my appearance. It won’t stop me this time because I want to win at least once in life, to truly win and not give up halfway when I am a lot closer to my dreams just because there’s setbacks that I could solve if I pushed through it.

I can say that I am successfully integrated into society and being normal. I learned that despite my own quirks and such, I can be normal and there is nothing to be afraid of being out there. In fact, many good things happen because I brave myself to do things outside my comfort zone.

So, this is the end of this, and I have achieved my goal, to be comfortable being seen, integrating myself back to society, and being comfortable navigating body shaming and all that has to do with it.