Being a minority sucks. As the famous meme says: "It had to be said, and it was said." And it sucks with bold capital letters, underlined, and with little colored arrows pointing at it.
And that is because we live in a society that, although it is more tolerant of minorities than before, does not understand them, and is largely not interested in understanding them, and only lets them be, allows them to exist, tolerates them, many times with a air of moral superiority more than questionable.
And we are all on that ship, including minorities, who care a lot about our interests but are sometimes even more intolerant of other minorities than the majorities themselves.
One of the characteristics of postmodernism, which according to some authors we have already left behind, or are in the process of leaving behind, is tolerance, and with it the consequent diversity, one that had always existed, but was hidden in the shadows, in the underground.
But unfortunately, thanks to another characteristic of this same postmodernism, the lack of commitment, respect for others has not been achieved naturally in our society, but something that must be fought to achieve, with the consequent rejection that this fight can generate.
Majorities, in the comfort that their number gives them, which they are largely not fully aware of, criticize, or in the best of cases ignore minorities, who have two options: fight for what they want or passively accept the dominance of the majority and adapt to it.
This is how we have an LGBTTTIQ community (Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Transgender, Transsexual, Transvestite, Intersex and Queer) that lives their sexuality more openly than before but is still not seen as an equal by the majority.
And we also have feminist movements and new masculinities that are often misunderstood even by their own members and supporters. Which leads us to social frictions in search of recognition, and a search for identity not always in the best way, just to cite a couple of examples out of many possible.
But what is all this talk about? Well, last night at a family party, I realized that I have been living this fight on a daily basis for a long time and despite having convictions that many might consider strong, I am with one foot in tolerance and the other in the demand to rule by my own parameters and not those of the majority, of which I am a part in some aspects of my life, but not in others.
I am a man, white and heterosexual, which places me already as part of one of the majorities and as such I have enjoyed privileges since I was born. But at the same time I have a personality (INFP) that only has 2% of the global population, which makes me see things from a totally different lens in many aspects of my life, which makes me part of a minority.
Yesterday I had to go to a party, literally to "suffer" to be able to accompany a couple of nephews on their birthday. And I say suffer because I had to do things that I do not like or interest, and tolerate others that I detest for hours just so as not to hurt the feelings of my nephews.
And it is since I can remember that I have always had the two options already described, which can be summarized in two words: adapt or rebel. Adapting implies suffering in silence and pretending what you are not, and rebelling implies rejection and criticism from others.
For example, the last of this post, I do not tolerate karaoke, I suffer with them while most people enjoy it. And it's not that I chose not to like them, but from the first time I went to one, I couldn't hold out long before retiring. Listening to people out of tune singing bad songs that I don't like is not my thing.
And one day I said it openly at work as an explanation of why I was not going to a party, and from that day my name and the word karaoke became almost synonymous and the reason for jokes and ridicule from everyone. And despite that, they kept inviting me to karaoke parties and it bothered them if I didn't attend.
If you are part of a minority you probably understand me, even if your problems are due to other things. If, on the other hand, you are part of the majority, you are lucky, and I hope that this personal relief will help you to understand, even to a lesser extent, the others who are not.
To those others who are not strange or heavy, we are simply different and we have the same right as you to do what we like and get away from what we dislike, just as you do all the time without having to worry about the repercussions of it.
Today I believe that the key to harmony is no longer so much tolerance, but rather the recognition of our differences as something natural, and respect for them as part of the diversity that enriches us and should strengthen us as a society. Don't you think?
©bonzopoe, 2021.
Thank you very much for reading this post and dedicating a moment of your time. Until next time and remember to leave a comment.
