Handling Social Anxiety

So, that hangout party is in three weeks time and you can’t wait. It’s been long overdue. The long awaited moment has finally arrived. You are bubbling with excitement and anticipation. You can’t wait to connect faces to those voices you hear on audio chats. You haven’t seen some of your friends in a while and they are going to be there. Those people who post funny messages on your chat are also coming. You can’t wait to make new acquaintances and possibly, new friends. Two weeks to that day, the excitement is gradually going down for you but you are still happy. You keep preparing. One week to the day, you are not sure anymore. You keep asking yourself how the meetup will contribute to your growth. Three days to the D-day, you are already talking yourself out of going. You keep coming up with excuses to stay home and just sleep or watch a movie. This sounds familiar? Well, congratulations! You have social anxiety.

Now, I’m going to talk about this from an introvert point of view, being an introvert myself. A lot of people experience the above scenario. It gets worse if you are an introvert. Let’s take a look at the definition.

Social anxiety comes from a place deep within. An introvert is already an alone person, so it’s quite easy to not want to see or interact with people. It could be from fear of looking out of place, or being judged. People with social anxiety wants to meet new people but being the center of attention makes them extremely nervous. They may blush uncontrollably when teased, or their hands might shake from talking to a lot of people.

Understand that social anxiety is a way of protecting yourself from the unknown by avoidance. You do not want to attend that event not because you do not want to socialize, but because you probably don’t want people looking directly at you and making snide remarks about something. The whole thing kind of bores and scares the crap out of you, and you prefer the comfort of your home. Social anxiety is not an easy emotion to get rid of, but with constant trial, you will get there.

Here are some of the things I do that works for me:

Relax
Nobody is actually monitoring what you do or the way you navigate through the event. They probably don’t notice the sweat in your armpit or the way you seem to keep losing your way to the restroom. Be yourself and try a mental countdown. You don’t have to smile through it if you don’t want to. Just be you. You can even tune out occasionally. I know I do that a lot.

Forget the lie
You know how you keep thinking that this is maybe one of the worst things that can happen? Forget about it. It’s a lie. Don’t feed yourself the worst case scenario. Go with the flow. It can either be good or bad, but it’s mostly what you make of it.

No one is paying attention
You may think that your feelings probably show on your face. But the truth is, it doesn’t. Nobody will pay that close attention except maybe a close friend. Your face and body language isn’t betraying you. Everyone is busy having fun or concentrating on the discussion to actually scrutinize one person who happens to be you.

It’s all in your head
That’s right. Every feeling begins right from the mind. You have to constantly remind yourself that everything is alright. Try to not think about how people will react to your dress, or what the looks on their face will be like when you make a comment.

Don’t forget to enjoy the moment
What if you are the center of attention? It’s probably because you have a right to be where you are. You deserve it. So why not enjoy it? Relish the moment and make the best out of it. It may end up being the best moment of your life.

In the end, I can only suggest but you still have to find out what works for you. To take a step out of your comfort zone, you first have to make a decision. Don’t just do it because it’s what the people in your life want. Do it for you. Do it because you want to be better. Break free from it because it's the right thing to do.

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