I was having an email exchange with a fellow writer yesterday, and we ended up on the seemingly inevitable topic of writing as a path of self-exploration.
One of the questions that came up was that of — sincerely — examining what personal attribute has most often and most consistently presented itself as a challenge in our lives.
On the surface, that seems like it might be pretty simple to answer: "I am impatient," or "I lack discipline," or "I lack ambition" and so forth. These are often cover stories we tell ourselves... and even though they might be true, they seldom represent the actual roots of what repeatedly challenges us.
Below the Surface...
After a number of loops through the possibilities, I finally settled on the reality that the consistently greatest challenge I have dealt with — pretty much ALL my life — is that I am a "slow" person.
If there's a single thing I've heard all my life it is to "get out of the way, you're moving/doing it/working too slowly!"
That doesn't mean "slow" in the sense of lacking intellectual capacity nor in the sense that I have a learning disability; I am just slow... in a world that tends to move very quickly, and tends to value speed.
I think slowly, I move slowly, I take action slowly, I learn slowly, I work slowly, I eat slowly... all of which adds up to something that tends to frustrate both myself and other people, in the sense that I easily end up being like a rock in the middle of a stream that holds up other things trying to move along faster.
"Well, LEARN to move faster!"
Well, duh... and thank you for that suggestion, Captain Obvious!
It would be nice if it were that easy. But it really isn't. Believe me, I have tried to "live faster" and the outcome is a non-stop clusterfuck of mistakes and clumsiness that actually sets up a worse situation than if I had just gone about things at my own pace, in the first place.
Although I have tried various things along the way, my best option in a fast-paced situation or environment is typically just to sideline myself and let others do their thing till there's room for me to do my thing, at my pace.
Now, what makes all this so weird for most people is that fact that if we remove speed/time as a factor in any given thing/activity, I am generally in the top 1-5% of pretty much anything I undertake.
So why is this a challenge, at all?
As I wrote earlier, the world moves fast. Speed is often given priority over quality or accuracy or offering the "best" solution. A large part of the reason I never "made it" in mainstream employment can be directly traced to the fact that I always produced STELLAR quality work and excellent solutions... I just never produced enough of them, soon enough.
Heck, a large part of why I somewhat chose to "hermit myself" is related to this particular attribute...
Now I sit here — ironically — taking several hours to create a post about "being slow," a task that most people could probably complete in 45 minutes or less.
The "secret," of course — to the extent that there IS one — is to be patient and find your place in life and to not take it personally that your existence seems permeated by rejection in subtle or not so subtle ways.
The Tortoise and the Hare?
Whether or not that old fable holds some truth or not, I guess I am more oriented towards dealing with the immediate reality: I have to function in the world, and that world looks for speed, most of the time... people who are quick thinkers and can speedily re-do something seven times, till they get it right.
Reality is what you make of it!
And I am very grateful that I have been able to create my own tortoise-like reality that allows me to navigate life with at least a modicum of success... and contentment.
But the world does seem to move awfully fast, most of the time!
Thanks for reading, and have a great remainder of your week!
How about YOU? Are you a "quick" person... or a "slow" one? Does it ever feel like the majority of the world is moving at a different speed from you, be that FAST or SLOW? What have you done to successfully navigate that? Comments, feedback and other interaction is invited and welcomed! Because — after all — SOCIAL content is about interacting, right? Leave a comment — share your experiences — be part of the conversation!
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Created at 20210831 23:05 PDT
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