As a long-time student of psychology, the experience of "being human" never ceases to fascinate me.
Aside from personal experience and study, I am also blessed to have more or less a "front row seat" because I am married to someone who's in the mental health profession, and who specializes in healing various kinds of emotional/mental traumas.
Although I have come to accept it as a fact, one of the great mysteries to me is the reality that there are people — a significant number, even — in our world who are clearly suffering, are even aware that they are suffering... and yet? They don't really want to heal, even when an opportunity for healing is offered.
Maybe that doesn't make much sense to a mentally stable and healthy individual. However, it is not uncommon for people to become so identified with whatever wounded their psyche that they cannot imagine being without their wounds.
"Emotional hypochondria?" Well... not exactly.
In retrospect, I know I was once married to someone who didn't want to heal... because being "wounded" resulted in lots of extra attention and a sense — however misguided — of being special in ways that were never part of her upbringing. And when she was a kid, the only way to get attention was to be ill.
Whereas that is likely not the workings of a healthy mind, I can sort of understand the underlying logic. I understand it, because I have personally wrestled with its antithesis, namely a pervasive sense of being "nothing special," no matter how much evidence to the contrary might present itself.
There comes a time — for most people — where we have to come face-to-face with our psychological il(l)-logic.
"If someone else does this particular thing, I believe they deserve a medal and lots of recognition, but if I do the exact same thing, it's nothing special."
Doesn't make much sense, does it?
It's easy enough to spot such patterns when you live outside as situation, as opposed to inside it!
At times, I wonder whether some people are actually addicted to suffering. It's not as far-fetched as it might sound... research has shown that there are those for whom feeling bad actually brings a good feeling. Seems contradictory... but maybe it isn't. It's a bit like a favorite pair of shoes that have holes in their soles and the stitching is coming undone on one side, letting in water when it rains. Clearly, new shoes are needed. BUT will they be as comfortable? Long term familiarity can be a powerful draw, even if that familiarity isn't all that pleasant.
Chances are you know someone — or have known someone — for whom life always seems to be going wrong, or there is always some kind of struggle going on. And they seem unable to make the choices needed to change the situation. Might look awful to you, but there's a good chance they don't really want their lives to become "better."
And it's likely things will remains the same for them, until one day an unexpected "trigger" jolts them into realization that they must change.
Thanks for reading, and have a great remainder of your week!
How about YOU? Have you known someone who was clearly suffering emotionally, yet didn't seem to want to change things? What do you think caused it? Have you ever had such feelings, yourself? Comments, feedback and other interaction is invited and welcomed! Because — after all — SOCIAL content is about interacting, right? Leave a comment — share your experiences — be part of the conversation!
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Created at 20211111 00:52 PDT
0402/1643