Break

My earphones ensured the outside world didn't intrude; they're not quite noise-cancelling but the volume made sure any noise from the café around me didn't reach my ears. This track was playing and my right forefinger tapped the saucer my coffee cup rested upon in time with the beat. My eyes closed occasionally as I let the smooth music mingle with my thoughts, single-minded thoughts of her...Always thoughts of her. I know, you won't get it but if you knew her you'd understand.

I leaned back on the chair; right arm resting on the table, left resting loose in my lap, legs extended and crossed at the ankles - Relaxed, but alert, always alert.

The world passed by and through my Oakleys I watched intermittently.

The waitress who brought my coffee had recently removed a ring from her finger, I could see the whiter skin - I wondered what that meant and then she moved away. A mother passing the café stopped to chastise her child for not keeping up then she hurried off with her designer shopping bags clutched in both hands. A man and woman walked into the café, they'd been arguing, I could tell. She looked exasperated, he angry, but they sat awaiting their coffee and then...He reached for her hand across the table, and she offered it. Maybe they weren't arguing after all, or maybe they were so together it just didn't matter; maybe each others touch transcended everything else.

I sipped my coffee and closed my eyes sinking back into the music...What I need, can you feel it, can you feel it baby. What need I think you got it baby...

I felt movement then a brush on my arm, the waitress reaching over for my now empty coffee cup. She said something I didn't hear so I pulled the headset from my ears almost screwing my face up at the cacophony of noise that assaulted me. Pushing my Oakleys up so as not to seem rude I replied. Sorry, I didn't hear you. I smiled my poor excuse for a smile by way of apology.

No worries. You look a million miles away. Another coffee? She raised an eyebrow in question as she spoke, just the one, and smiled back. Her eyes were the blue-green of a mountain lake and her smile just as nice.

I nodded, yeah, that'd be great, same thank you, I said flicking my eyes to the empty cup she held.

Her smile broadened, coming right up, she said then turned and walked away. I blocked the world out again with my headset...I just wanted to get lost in the moment, the music and a whole bunch of pleasant thoughts about another set of eyes and the beautiful woman they belonged to...The music took me there and my eyes closed once more...What I need, can you feel it, can you feel it baby. What need I think you got it baby...

This was today. I'd left work early feeling like I needed a break; it wasn't that I'd had a hard or long day or a really bad one either...I was simply drained, emotionally. It's probably a by-product of lack of sleep, my often deep emotions and thoughts and some writing I'd done over the last couple days that, whilst beautiful, had stretched me thin. Emotionally.

Sometimes life does that and it's important to gap it, to pause. I call it detachment.

It's like a battlefield commander will do in a combat situation where better decisions save lives and bad ones take them; he will turn his back on the fight, find a brief moment of clarity, make a decision then get back on it; call in artillery fire or close air support, deploy troops and so on. That's the sort of break I was taking.

I just need to tell my brain to stop, or slow down at least, and as I sat there watching life, absorbed in tunes and ignoring my phone it did. It didn't matter where I took my break, just that I took it; a café at the east end of Rundle Street in the city would do - decent coffee was abundant, and a sliver of cake too. My mind didn't stop, it never does...But it slowed to the beat of the music and that's enough for me.

I don't know what you do to find little gaps like I found today; I hike, do repetitive actions like making ammunition, read and listen to music among other things. That small detachment is often what I need, that moment of turning my back on the fight, finding centre, a little peace of mind to then turn back to it and deploy.

So...Indulge me and tell me...What's your break?