Find me

"I was once told that the love I felt beating inside my chest was nothing more than my mind playing an unfair trick on my heart. And like a pair of dice dancing along the uneven pavement, their fate, much like yours or mine, had already been decided. That even the cracks that drew their faults between two opposing sides could not escape a fate that was always destined to be sealed. To think, that someone could actually believe that the swelling tides of my heart were no more than an anxious highway of ins and outs anchoring my imagination to the castles I've been building in the sky...Well, maybe 'they' are the crazy ones. Then again, I have been known to misplace my hope in the way things fall"

Have you ever been lost? I don't mean, unable to determine where you are or find your way to a familiar place, I mean emotionally. Although, the feelings generated by both versions are often the same: Doubt, stress, fear and despondency to name a few. _{original im src}

Lost emotionally could mean many things depending on who is feeling it and, for me, it has taken on various shapes and forms in my life; I have been lost and I am lost.

I have at times felt so lost I didn't think it possible to find my way back to myself: A happy, generous and loving person who loved life so much and sought to fill it with experiences, actions and events to be proud of. Color fades, light diminishes and shadows lengthen - light gives way to darkness in ones mind. It's not a good feeling but that's life; it challenges us, pushes and pulls, gives and takes. We're both passengers and drivers depending on external circumstances, our attitudes and mindsets.

Lost in love

There is a version of lost I'm happy to feel though.

I open myself to it and embrace it, because in doing so, in feeling feeling this particular type of lost, I feel like I'm exactly where I want to be emotionally. Lost...But found. It probably sounds ridiculous to others; it's a personal thing and probably quite different for each of us. Being lost in love helps me be a better person for myself and, of course, for the woman who is the focus of that love.

Supergirl.

I don't feel I've relinquished part of myself to the other or that someone else commands me; it's a feeling of being more than I am, a feeling of belonging. The closing of a circle maybe; a circle that contains another person. I'm probably not making sense but few will read this anyway, and I don't care; I write for myself.

Some time ago I came across a Canadian-born singer called Forest Blakk; a young man who has an uncanny ability to create beauty from life's difficult moments. He has created some very moving pieces including a lovely song called if you love her with Meghan Trainor however today I felt inclined to share something a little different. A spoken piece that I find so beautiful and moving. It says how I feel much better than I could ever say it.

Each Sunday for the last several weeks I've shared a track from my liked songs playlist however this week my offering is a piece called Find me, by Forest Blakk. It's about being lost in love and I find it heartbreakingly beautiful, a little sad but mostly uplifting. When I listen to it I feel like I could have written it but in truth I don't possess the ability to write like this...I feel this way though. Lost. In love with Supergirl. So...Found.