If you're a regular reader of my posts you'll know that real life is hectic for my wife Faith and I right now; We're stressed, a condition I try to keep away from my blogs as it's not very interesting, and have many trials and tribulations ahead of us. Don't worry, we're holding it all together, but it's a struggle though.
Two years ago Faith's mum was diagnosed with a primary cancer, had a major operation and six months of chemotherapy then was proclaimed clear about ten months after the initial diagnosis.
Only a month ago, at a regular follow-up scan, more cancer was found, a secondary cancer meaning somewhere different to the first. She has had a lot of testing since then and tomorrow is her final appointment with the specialist to get the verdict on the severity, options available if any and what the future holds as far as operations or treatments and time/length of life are concerned. We are hopeful of the ability to operate which is about the best-case scenario.
A few weeks prior to all of that Faith had some issues herself and went through a month of cancer testing of her own; I haven't said much about it here, and neither will I, except to say that she has been told her issues are not cancer-related. The concern was that her father died at thirty three years old of non hodgkins lymphoma, blood cancer essentially and considering Faith's issues it was a possibility for her also. We haven't had a great time of it lately.
Fortunately that cancer-scenario is not the case but she still requires an operation of her own in the next few weeks. We're waiting to see what happens with her mum tomorrow before we schedule that in of course as we need to make both situations work together; Faith, in true style, is more concerned about her mum than herself of course.
We have planned a strategy around her mum's situation and what we expect to happen so hopefully we can handle it better than last time. It went ok, but was incredibly stressful on us as a couple and individuals and this time I think we're better prepared. Part of the issue last time was that it all happened only two days after Faith and I returned from Europe. We'll be on top of it this time I think; Preparation prevents poor performance they say.
I'm feeling a bit useless at the moment although and am very concerned for Faith. I feel kind of angry mostly because she deserves better than this; Only the other day I wrote on hive about how grumpy I was and whilst probably justifiable, it's not productive.
We spoke about it over the weekend as we've both been feeling the same way; We made commitments around dealing with it together which is pretty easy for us as we do most tings together. Without going into details we agreed to talk things through, our feelings and frustrations, as holding them in will only cause them to burst forth in unproductive ways later and in this situation we need to be a pretty tight unit.
I feel confident we're going to bring it all together a lot better than last time and whilst the situation is much more dire, more complicated, I think it might be a smoother process. I'll have two patients to look after, my job and all the other physical, logistical and emotional commitments I usually have but I think our plan is a good one, has built-in flexibility and three committed people to deploy it. I'm still grumpy though; Just saying.
I'm sorry this isn't a very positive post today, but writing it out feels like a commitment or affirmation of sorts and helps me to order things in my own mind; Thanks for being my sounding-board.
None of you have the cure to cancer although you may have been through similar things so I ask you to share them below if you feel able. It would be nice to gain a little more insight and to hear how you may have dealt with the same or similar situations. Both Faith and I have already lost a parent to cancer so have some experience but each time is different and your perspective could be really helpful.
Thanks for reading.
Design and create your ideal life, don't live it by default - Tomorrow isn't promised.
Be well
Discord: galenkp#9209
The image is Faith with a couple of handguns of mine, both checked and verified as empty prior to being pointed at me. She looks grumpy I guess, but I think that's understandable.