It's not an easy decision of "giving up" something and make a new start. Especially when it's a chronic habbit. It takes so much time to let it go for real, or even years. For example i used to bite my fingernails for 10 years, mostly when i was stressed or angry, and it took me 3 years of stop doing that at all. But i won't talk about that habbit.
In 2017 i was thinking only about food. I was eatting a lot in every meal. I wasn't feeling stressed, only hungry.
That time i found my second job after a while and i was happy that i had my own money and i could buy whatever i wanted. But the thing is that most of the money went to junk food, i could eat whatever i want since the money were mine.
After two months we received an allowance, due to low income, which this meant more money every month. Every month we ate at least 4 times fast food and so many desserts that i made (i love to make desserts, whatever has to do with chocolate in general).
The days were passing and i didn't notice that i got some weight, the clothes were tighter, i was like "oh i have to stop eatting that much", but i never stoppped. From March to December of 2017 (as long as the employment contract lasted) i got 24kg, i was 58kg and i reached 82kg. For example 8 slices of pizza i could eat them all.
In January of 2018 i said "that's it, i can't get more weight". At this point i was getting tired very fast even when i was walking close to my house.
I stayed to 82kg for 1 year, and the summer of 2019 i started to be carefull with my food and i began some excersices, like aquats, push ups etc. I went down to 78kg until July of 2019. I went for vocation to my sister on Salamina island in Greece and i hadn't time for my excercises or control of my food so i reached 82kg again. December of 2019 i managed to go down to 78kg with less food that actually made me hungry.
For almost 1 year i couldn't lose any weight but i didn't got either. Until an old friend of mine contact with me and we set a date to meet again.
We walked so much that day and i was really excausted, but i liked it though. We met many times and we went for walking. My feet didn't hurt anymore because i used it. And then the quarantine started.
My friend couldn't come to me or i go to my friend because we live in different cities. I used to go for walking and i couldn't stay in the home anymore. This was the moment when i said "that's enough, i want to becone as i was in the past when i didn't got tired very easy. I want to go back to my normal weight". And that's what i did.
I put some music to listen and i started to go for walking on my own.
In October of 2020 i was 78kg, and now (17/05) i am 70kg. I have still so much work to do and i want to reach my goal, which is 55kg. When i'm out for walking and i notice something that i like, i take a photo of it like a flower for example, or the view of the mountain.
I was up there in January and i took that photo
It's not just a thought, it's a deep will power that makes me to keep continue. I can say clearly now that i gave up that part of me and i am going forward to meet and congratulate my new self that tries every day to achieve it's goals, because every single day is a challenge.
I can't stop eatting chocolate or junk food but at least i won't eat so often as i did. My mood is better now for sure, and i can walk faster than before.
P.S.: when you see the people you love to "destroy" themselves, please don't judge them, don't tell them what to do or not to because it's not nice and you'll get the opposite result. In that point they just don't care. But is good of a friendly approach like:
- i noticed your new bad habbit, are you ok? Can i do anything for you?
- If there's anything that bothers you, you can talk to me, i'm here for you.
- i know that i shouldn't probably to tell you this, but i see how you changed and this is not healthy for you, and think about some people who care about you and they are hurting by seing you like this.
Tip 1: when you feel that you have reached the bottom, then you will realize that you really want to get out of there. That's when you will say enough.
Tip 2: you will fall many times in your life, but you must rise again. And when you get up then you'll be stronger than before.
I inspired from this post: @jaynie/the-weekly-no-12-lifestyle-lounge-blog-inspirations-for-the-week-ahead
