Greetings, Everyone
Yesterday, I turned 47. I meant to post this yesterday, but I had a hell of a time uploading the pictures. Every year it becomes harder to celebrate our birthdays; every year we actually make adjustments to ignore that such events are even happening, to care less if there not much in the form of a celebration. This time we had a cake courtesy of one of my aunts-in-law. Even though she has been feeling a bit under the weather, she had the energy to give me this noble gesture. A beautiful present indeed.

So, it was just my aunt-in-law, my wife, daughter and I. Last year, I was able to buy my favorite coconut cake. It was quite a luxury, all things considered. This time, it was just out of the question. I had a bigger priority. The day before my birthday, my wife and I decided to pay a visit to person I owe my existence to, my mother. She was back from Barinas, we had not seen her in about six months and she was a bit closer, just 2 hours and 20 mins away.

We visited her on Saturday morning and were back home by night. It was a good trip, no problems on the road, and a better staying. We had a brief but wonderful time. I had not seen my brother, where my mother is staying, since August. We did not have much to carry with us in the form of presents or contributions (now in Venezuela when you visit friends or relatives you have to contribute with whatever expenses your host may incur, especially food; given the magnitude of our crisis one cannot impose extra expenses to a host who is already struggling to provide for their families).

These are hard times we are living and as I saw myself one year older I could not help reflecting on what I have done with my life. I am thankful for many things and greatful to many people, especially my dear mother, who made so many sacrifices as we were growing up. From the very moment she brought us to the world we gave her a hard time. She never had one easy delivery. She tells stories of how she almost died with my delivery. She was left unconscious for more than 12 hours. They called that frenesí, now we know my mother sufferred eclampsia and could have died for sure. I was the 7th of her 8 children and probably because of her complicated pregnancy and delivery I had a very hard childhood; I was what we call a pavo chiquito (little turkey, a sickly child). We lived in a rural town one hour drive from the closest hospital. But my mother had a natural instinct to guess what plants were good for what illnesses and she was able to keep us all safe with home-made remedies until a car was available to get us to a hospital.

I never thought I would be this age and this broke. To see my mother in her 80s, needing all kinds of attentions and not being able to contribute much is very depressing. I keep exploring options and trying different things to improve my condition but it has been very hard. Although I know that the same can be said about other parts of the world, I live in a society that has been increasingly undervaluing and undermining integrity and meritocracy. In a corrupt society like ours he who tries to live a decent life, expecting the system to recongnize his worth and merits is a fool and wastes his time. Academics used to be very well paid and respected. In a country that ruined all its universities, they are now just one more kind of poor. With neighboring countries making it harder and harder for anyone from here to migrate and succeed in their areas of expertise, the prospects of a new life, a better life become more elusive.

Defeated as I may feel, I do my best to remain faithful to the principles my parents taught me. Poverty does not have to invite corruption or dishonesty. I know my mother does not expect any debt to be repaid, but I also know that our elders expect to end their life with dignity. I hope she can live long enough for us to be able to provide her with some joys and satisfactions. That's all I can wish for at the moment.

Thanks for your visit