I still don’t bleed like I’m supposed to.
My last chance was six weeks ago, Mandie can’t convince them to give it longer, there’s no place for me here anymore. They’ll ship me to another vault. A non-breeding one, where the raiders do well enough for that luxury.
My Special score isn’t that bad, I'm not completely useless, I'm perceptive, and on paper at least - I’m lucky. Sadly round here, there isn’t much use for that combination, not that I get a say in it anyway - what I do, where I end up. The overseer decides everything.
Tonight’s my final night in vault 69.
I thought it would be so much harder than this to say goodbye. Over the years, I’ve grown fond of these exposed metal walls, the jenky elevator shafts, the flickering lights down in water purification, on the lowest levels - where the power drops first.
I managed to hide it for the first few years, 1 man, 999 women - no one was suspicious that I hadn’t got pregnant, until Linda started tracking our fertility.
Unproductive.
That was what she wrote in the report, what she submitted to the overseer in vault 1 - telling me to be grateful she wasn’t evicting me herself. Vault 69 started as a social experiment, but it soon became something else - although may it always was.
Vault 69, the Primary Supply.
The most desirable death sentence a man could wish for, right? Wrong, ha, so very wrong, Linda took over vault management three years ago, she improved everything, swapping water purification for a nuka bottling plant, even getting us on nuclear power.
Her improvements to reproduction were even more hands on, or hands off as the whole thing ended up - it worked, our pregnancies rocketed. We provided vault 75 a steady supply of three year olds, doing our part in raising the next generation to survive - heroines of the commonwealth.That’s what Linda called us all, her heroines, but no matter how many kids we send they always want more. She implemented targets, tracked fertility, she’d no choice there - but those interviews to justify our existence to vault 1 were wrong.
Then those first three were evicted - menopausal, low skilled and turned out to the wastelands. I guess that's when I started seeing it differently, I know it was never your fault Cassidy, but you replaced an old friend, sent out there to die. It wasn’t always like this down here, but there is one thing that’s never changed. 75 need more.
This isn’t a life, we’re no different than cattle.
There was an error with air regulation last quarter, we had to connect into the vault mainframe to fix it - I saw other vaults!
Self governing, independent of vault 1, open to anyone - they’ve been lying to us.
I'm leaving while I can, when you lose hope here, know it’s waiting for you, out there.
Good luck.
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