Hi again.
Everyone is looking, but they can't tell.
You Learn
All of them noticed it, but none of them would say a word. I guess they liked to pretend they didn’t see me, so I should feel insignificant, you know. But who cared. I didn’t even need the job. I was there lest my father should withdraw my “allowance” if I didn’t get my papers signed every month. It hadn’t been easy, but I could fit into my old jeans again, finally. After I’d lost those forty pounds, I could do anything; Gosh, it felt good, splendid. I couldn’t care less about the world.
Every day I’d walk in, unnoticed, go past their dull countenances, and get to mind my own business. Every day it was the same.
But one Friday morning, the head of HR called me to her office; I could've never told she was about to change everything. What did I think of her? Well, she was a skinny lady in her fifties with a short temper, and definitely not my choice to share a morning cup of coffee.
I sat down, crossed my legs, crossed my arms, looked at her without blinking. She had to know she wouldn’t scare me, and I had to be nasty enough that I’d be dismissed as quickly as possible. She offered me a cup of tea, apologized for not having coffee or sugar, and gently sat down. Suddenly, she’d become the politest and most congenial human being. Then I realized I was rather tense when I felt my jaw unclenched and my breathing and muscles began to relax. She began her speech in a soothing tone of voice, which she kept till the end of our meeting.
She was worried about me, and she was not he only one. They thought I’d been emaciated by illness or hunger, or both. They considered me too proud to admit that I was; and, what else could it be? All of them had been starving for the last couple of years; it’d be my turn sooner or later, right? They knew I’d been kicked out. They knew I ate my lunch from a tiny container. They speculated as they pleased; they had their theories but would not approach me because I had such a terrible attitude. I was positively bedazzled.
I wanted to tell her I was fine, and that I just happened to be a self-centered, ill-advised idiot, but a voice in the back of my mind told me to remain silent until I could figure it out, so I did the only thing I could do. I cried.
After half an hour, we left the office, the lights were off. As soon as she locked the door, the lights went on and every one was there. They had my birthday cake. Gosh, it was my birthday. I had forgotten it again, I and all the others but them.
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