Aunt Zell and Uncle Ash were leaving as I brought the puppy downstairs next morning. I guessed George's peeing on their shoes left a bad impression or something. They were supposed to stay for three more days.
They did not look at me as they put on their shoes, which I had promptly cleaned as well as anyone could have the previous night. Aunt Zell wore the sourest look I had ever seen, her lips pursed so tight they were turning blue. Poor Uncle Ash, who never could get a word in edgewise, looked even more dejected than usual. I've always liked Uncle Ash. Dejected people appeal to me.
"Hey. Is something wrong? Today we were going to see Aunt Mabel in the home, remember?"
"That will not be happening Sara. We have had quite enough of your hospitality." This was said with the edgiest edge I'd ever heard Aunt Zell use. She must really value those shoes I thought, which were still the whitest of whites espadrilles, with scarlet colored satin ties and brassy embellishments, curiously unlike all of her other fairly dowdy shoes
"Oh gosh, that's right. I keep forgetting. You still just seem like you. Not...." Uncle Ash stopped speaking when Aunt Zell shot him a look that could kill. He put on his unusually wide brimmed hat, took off his shoes, sat right down on the lowest step of my front stairway, and glared at her.
"I'm not going anywhere with you" he said to his wife.
I was starting to think this had nothing to do with my dog.
"What time is Mabel expecting us?" came out from under the brim of his copious hat as he continued to glare at her, but the comment was clearly directed at me.
Aunt Zell clomped over to him in her stiff ridiculous shoes, and towered over him and his astonishing hat. For a bit we all stood there silently. It was awkward, but not nearly as awkward as what happened next.
"Remember the day I killed 100 mosquitos?" Aunt Zell snarled to the brim. "Remember the day I pulled the leeches out of your foot? Remember the time I walked through blackberry bushes to retrieve the corn cob you'd stupidly thrown into the brush? Remember the money I lent to your cousin Edgar to buy a tiger cub, the cub that was going to make us all rich?"
I had no idea what these two usually polite and seemingly loving couple were working out, but I wanted no part of it. Unfortunately, there I stood, trapped. George sniffed my feet, wagged her tail and began to whine. I ignored her. I was a new puppy owner, what did I know?
Aunt Zell and Uncle Ash locked eyes on each other. George started moving around, unnoticed. Three humans stood silently, two of us glaring, one of us staring, and not a sound could be heard until...
It was a tiny sound. Just a little whoosh-y noise. Not until Aunt Zell screeched and started hopping around and flailing her arms, knocking Uncle Ash's hat right off his head, did I know what it was.
George had peed on Aunt Zell's luggage, soaking the bottom of her bag, the bottoms of both her silly shoes, and his hat had landed squarely in the expanding puddle of pee.
We all yelled "GEORGE!"
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