Trapped in kindergarten 101

I had one of those dreams that was so ridiculous, I woke up laughing and questioning my entire life.

In the dream, I marched confidently into a classroom, my bag on my shoulder, ready to learn. The moment I got there, everyone was already seated, so I slid into a chair, acting casual, like I totally belonged there.

The teacher smiled at me and handed me a sheet of paper. I braced myself, expecting some serious exam questions. But when I looked down, I nearly choked😂😂. At the top in giant bubble letters it said: “COLOR THE RAINBOW” Underneath was a smiling sun, two clouds, and a rainbow begging for crayons. Likee… are you guys being serious right now, I muttered.

For a moment, I thought maybe this was some weird warm-up activity for adults. But then I looked around. None of the so called “students” were my age. They were kids, actual children, swinging their legs because their feet didn’t even touch the ground, and they were barely the height of their seat. One boy next to me leaned over, and whispered, “Bet you don’t even know your colors.” 🙄🙄

I laughed nervously, grabbed the nearest crayon, and of course, it was broken in half. I started coloring slowly, trying to look confident. The teacher strolled by, peeked at my paper, and announced in the sweetest voice: “Oh dear… someone doesn’t know how to stay inside the lines.”

The entire class gasped like I had just committed a federal crime. A little girl across from me patted my shoulder and said,“Aunty it’s okay, you’ll get better if you practice.”I had never felt so disrespected in my life. Sigh!!!!

Before I could redeem myself, the teacher clapped her hands. “Time for the alphabet song” she declared. Suddenly, every child stood up like a choir and started belting out A-B-C at the top of their lungs. I tried to join in, but halfway through, I blanked. Was it L-M-N-O-P or M-M-O-P? My voice cracked, and I sounded like a broken radio.

Then the boy beside me raised his hand and tattled, “Miss! She doesn’t know the song” The teacher looked at me with pity and said, “Precious, why don’t you lead the class?”

Next thing I know, I’m standing at the front of the room, clutching a crayon like a microphone, pairs of tiny eyes staring at me like I was the world’s oldest kindergartener.😂😂 I opened my mouth, and all that came out was, “Uh… A…?”

That’s when I woke up. And honestly, I wasn’t even relieved. I just lay there thinking, imagine being roasted in a dream… by five-year-olds.
What an experience!!!!