Learning language hasn’t been my thing. I have always struggled to learn every language except English. I learned my native language for more than ten years back then, but today, I can barely greet with that same language. Even my mom, who isn’t from Ekiti, can speak fluently. My siblings are trying too, but my case is different.
This is one of the reasons why I don’t brag about my hometown because the moment I tell someone where I come from, they started speaking what I don’t understand. One experience was when I was trying to get into the Nigeria Defence Academy. I met an Army officer when I went for NDA exam, and immediately he knew I am from Ekiti, he started speaking to me, and I just smiled.
“You can’t speak your dialect?” he asked.
“Yes sir. I grew up in Lagos,” I stuttered, and that has been my excuse for many years.
He was disappointed, but the good thing is that I haven’t broken any law, or else, the man would have deducted a few years from my life with severe punishment. I was embarrassed, but not as much as it happened when I was in primary four. The memories of that terrible day still remain fresh in my head because I felt humiliated and embarrassed.
Till this day, I still can’t tell why French Language is taught in Nigeria schools. It would have been a different case if we weren’t forced to learn it, plus we always have wicked and unfriendly teachers taking this subject. I disliked the subject a lot, and the only thing I could do with was greeting our French teacher once she arrives in the class.
“Bonjour Madame” (Good day, madam).
“Bonjour mes eleves, comment ca va?” (Good day my pupil, how are you?)
“Cava bien, merci. Et vous?” (I am fine, thank you.)
Those were the only things I knew in French, but my teacher didn’t know because my seat was at the back. We don’t get to interact, which was good.
One faithful day, my teacher was busy teaching while I was playing with my goons at the back of the class. One of them said something about the teacher’s hair, and I called her a witch. I honestly thought I whispered, but everyone heard me loud and clear. I realise the whole class focused on me and was confused until the teacher dragged me to the front of the class.
She asked what I have been discussing with my friends, and I couldn’t say anything. She flogged me before handing me to my class teacher for more punishment. The class continued, and she insisted that I sat at the front of the class—that was where the real problem started from. She started bombarding with questions in French language, and I couldn’t reply.
Instead of punishing me further, she chose to embarrass me in front of the whole school. Her subject was the last before extra curricular activities on Friday. We all gathered in the hall for extracurricular, and I was shocked to see our French teacher there. It was very unusual of her, and she started the day with French quiz that comes with prizes.
Honestly, I wasn’t interested in the prizes. I just want the extracurriculars activities end so we can move to fellowship. I never raised my hand to answer any questions. This woman called me out to compulsorily answer her question. Honestly, I didn’t understand what she said, not to talk of answering. She decided to come down to lower level, and I answered a question thinking it was something I knew it. A lot students who understood French started laughing, and I felt super embarrassed.
Did I mention that it was my first term in the school and my previous school doesn’t teach French? At the end of the term, a good friend translated the questions during the French exam, and I politely answered them in English language.
I was called to the staff room for doing that, but this time as a comedian, not punishment. The teachers laughed so hard when I was forced to translate my answers to French. I just wrote vous, beit and other spelling I could remember from my note.