Huhm...if, just if, my life were a Bollywood movie, I hope you know that every single thing, every single happening, would turn into a cinematic piece. Now, how do we create this? There was a day I was boiling water to bathe, and suddenly NEPA took the light. What would I have done normally? I would have just murmured and looked for matches to put on the gas cylinder. But here comes my Bollywood life.
In a Bollywood setting... Immediately the NEPA took light, and I saw the kitchen bulb go off; I froze. Music began rising underneath, slowly and quietly, then it began swelling to loud and fast. I raised my hand to the sky as I used the other to put up my sari, then I began singing to the best, “NEPA NEPA, why, why did you, NEPA NEPA, why now?"
Guess what? By the time I turned around, I had seen over two hundred backup singers, including Khan and his mother (Mama Tunde), one of my enemies. But then, when it comes to dancing, we forget about fights and focus. All the backup dancers, I don't know how, but they already knew the dancing steps. They were all dressed in the normal colorful Indian sari; most of them were holding stirring sticks as microphones, while some had buckets in their hands as drums. The entire kitchen was lit and had turned into a stage, and guess what, I was both the lead singer and dancer, and guess the wordings of the song..."Gimme light, gimme light, I have an interview, gimme light, don't let the enemy rejoice over me, gimme light..."
As I stretched my hand forward as if calling unto someone, the camera zoomed in on my face and captured that very moment when I was ending the song. A drop of tears came out of my eyes as I said, "The enemy must not rejoice nor prevail over me..." It was a teary moment. The soundtrack played a little loud underneath, and the heavens sprinkled a little bit of rain, and the thunder roared. The sky that had been very clear some fifteen minutes ago was now very cloudy and dull.
I thought that was all, but then my landlord burst in. I ran back a little bit because I was owing rent, but then he wasn't there to ask for his dues. He adjusted his sari as well and shook his waist as the beat came alive again. He stood opposite me; some of the dancers on my side had rushed to his side. Not only that, but he grabbed one of the stirring sticks lying about and began singing, “Even if the enemy no shame you, remember say rent still dey, go bath like that and set out, remember if Light no dey rent still dey…” I tried to ignore him at first, but you know Bollywood movies—you must dance once the music starts. Even if it was a fighting scene, you will dance.
I didn't notice my crush was walking past the window in the kitchen, and you know that's the best moment to confess your love with these backups doing their best. I stretched my hand through the window, and my cloth flew in a slow-motion and dramatic manner as I shouted, “Priyaaa!” though her real name is Biola. She froze on the spot, looked sideways, and for a few minutes we just stared at each other. Come and see backup singers lining up throughout the street as they chant in Hindi, "This is love; you don't need a house to prove this, don't wait for him to have a generator, na rent he dey owe and even Nigeria sef dey owe, humble beginnings are good....?”
And just as the chance to confess my love came by, something happened...NEPA restored light. You should be able to guess the rest; everyone vanished in that very moment that meant a lot to me. Everything just went silent suddenly. I looked at myself. On my head was one of the buckets covering my face. I wanted to remove it and realized I had another bucket in my right hand and a stirring stick in the other. That was how the movie ended, with me standing in the kitchen, with matches in one hand and the other grabbing the kettle.
Dear readers, I guess that's it about if my life were a Bollywood movie scene. Every little thing would have turned into singing and dancing.
All pictures were generated using AI.
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