So, since the first day I began this POS business of a thing, even I know my village people, even though far away, have some sort of connection with me here in the city. When I made a banner, I asked the printing press to imprint "Fast Pay Ventures" on it, but guess what? My POS machine is like a snail on track with a tortoise. Well, it's left to you to decide whether my machine is the snail or my connection is the tortoise 🫣.
The first day, a customer came by. I was glad I was in for money; I never knew what my village people had in store for me.
"Good morning, I would like to withdraw ₦5,000," my cute customer said with a smile.
"Good morning, sir." I responded as I collected his already extended ATM card.
I inserted the card, and then a blank screen. What's wrong? I can't afford to lose my first customer. I was praying in tongues in my mind, and just then, it came back on with *"Transaction failed" *boldly written on the small screen.
Which transaction failed, Gangan? I don't understand. I haven't pressed the amount or anything, so which transaction?
Furthermore, I tried again, and this time it didn't go blank; it took its time again as if crawling to come up with something, it made its usual sound again, and it came up with the same message, "Transaction failed."
I looked at the guy standing before me; he stared back at me. 🥺
Just as I was about to explain things to him, another customer came by. God is so good they happen to know each other. I told her what happened; she looked at the guy, laughed, and said, "Well, we never can say. Let me try. It might be that his spirit didn't want him to go where he's going since he lied to me that he has nothing in his account."
I laughed as well and collected her card. I input it, and hers failed as well. It didn't just fail; immediately I tried removing her card, the machine printed a paper, I brought out the paper, and it read, "Declined. Source: Unknown." I had thought the transaction had gone through, but then it was obvious the gods were the ones in charge of my machine.
Both of them left my stand feeling dejected. By the time it was evening, about twelve people had come by, and none of it went through.
One man, after trying for about three times, looked at me and said, "Either you or your machine, one of you sha need deliverance."
Another lady in her early twenties, after trying for about two times as well, went to another place, and it worked. On her way back, she came to me smiling and said, "Oga, like this thing is not for you, o, or maybe you erected your stand on a shrine."
I looked at her and almost responded to her, but then, I kept my calm. I thought about those words, and finally I remembered something my landlord told me some time ago. He had told me that land belongs to a very powerful herbalist, but that was years back. Somebody had bought the land, so what's all this?
I returned home that evening all down and sad; I didn't make a single kobo. Mama Tolu, my prayer warrior neighbor, saw me as I entered and invited me into her sitting room to ask what was wrong. She shouted "Jesussss" as I explained everything to her. Immediately she stood up, held my hands as she began to pray. Fortunately the prayer didn't last long; it was the shortest I had seen her do it. We were done in less than 3 hours.
The following morning, she asked me to get ready to go again. I picked up the machine, knocked it, and said, "don't behave today again, shogbo." Then I dropped it inside my bag. Mama Tolu was already waiting for me outside; in her hand was a bottle of water, prayer water. We arrived at my stand, and not long after, a customer came by, and guess what? Immediately after I inserted and pressed the amount, it went blank again.
"Omo, what's all this." I said.
Out of desperation, Mama Tolu collected the machine from me and sprinkled some of that water on it. I wanted to shout. The machine that's giving me issues before, and you're still sprinkling water in it, but I kept calm. When they didn't sprinkle water on it, it didn't work? She gave it back to me and asked me to try again, then she began circling my stand, praying and sprinkling the water. And guess what again, for the rest of the day, all transactions were a success.
The funniest part is, throughout that night the machine wouldn't stop beeping. It was off, so why did it keep beeping? I even removed the battery, but then it wouldn't stop making that sound. I don't know if it was the water sprinkled on it or if my village people were having a fight inside.
The next morning, Mama Tolu gave me some of the water to sprinkle again, and this time with an anointing oil. As I was going to my shop, the machine was beeping after me, and people were just looking at me like I was some bomb carrier. I got to the shop, and not knowing what to do, I returned the battery, put it on, and anointed it with some oil. And that was how the beeping stopped. Now, the machine only works when I either sprinkle some water around or anoint it or play some gospel music.
The question now is... Where do I register my business? Is it under CAC, the small business stuff, or under the church CAC? 🫣
So, tell me, if that's not trouble from an unknown source, I really don't know what is then.
All pictures were generated using AI.
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