"Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall. Humpty Dumpty had a great fall. All the king's men could not put humpty dumpty together again".... nursery rhyme.
I was taught the above nursery rhyme when I was in nursery one. That was a long time ago. I'm talking about more than thirty years ago. Still, the expanse of time could not diminish the truths embedded in that rhyme. Truly, once humpty dumpty breaks, it will be difficult putting it together again. So is trust. Once trust is broken, it is difficult to put together again.
Trust refers to the firm belief or confidence in the reliability, integrity, and character of a person, organization or system. It involves a willingness to be vulnerable and take risks, with the expectation that the trusted entity will act in a way that is fair, honest, and respectful of one's interests.
I got the above definition from the internet and it was so profound to me because it touched all key mark attributes of trust.
A wise man once said that "trust takes time to build but easy to destroy". I totally agree because for you to trust someone, it means that the person has shown some level of reliability and loyalty which causes that person to earn your trust. No relationship can fully thrive without trust. Personally, I perceive trust to be "the pillar" of any relationship. Just like a house would crumble without pillars, so also a relationship without trust will not last.
Personal story
I once dated a boy whom I thought was sincere with me. It was during my early adult years and romantic relationships were new to me , although I had read series of romantic novels but nothing beats practicality. This boy worked in the same company as I did and so we saw each other every day except for Sundays. From 7am to 6pm, we were always together. He would often sneak to my department just to see me and say hi to me. Then during lunch break, we would both go out to get the same kind of food.
He made me feel loved and I had no iota of doubt where he was. After a while of dating, he came to work looking sad and I went to him to try cheer him up and that was when the whole thing got messed up. He told me his mum had a leg issue and she could not walk. He also claimed that he needed money to pay the local massagers who were coming to massage his mum's legs. I felt very sympathetic towards him and so I decided to do something for him to assist with his bills. I started sharing my salary into two parts and I gave one part to him to support his mum's treatment. Unbeknownst to me, his mum was fine and he was servicing another girl with my money. This went on for about four months before a concerned colleague who saw the way I was struggling to cater for my needs, helped me to monitor him amd that was when it was discovered.
The pain and hurt I felt after the discovery was enormous. I confronted my guy and he wanted to deny but I told him that I have solid proof and that was he owned up to his crime with the common phrase of "it's the devil". I broke up with him but I lost faith in love and till date, I hardly trust men.
The factors that would make me stop trusting someone are...
Cheating and dishonesty
Continuous lying
Manipulative tendencies
When someone in my circle is guilty of any factor listed above, then I would stop trusting that person totally.
Trusting someone who lost my trust is difficult but doable but that depends on the person's sincerity towarss me. If he or she is truly repentant and willing to be faithful, then I can gradually begin to open my heart again. It is said that Once beaten, twice shy and this is truth.
Thank you all fpr reading..shlom
Images used are mine .