Pleasant greetings to you all.
A song writer in my country once said in one of his songs that "if nobody talks about you, then it means you are a nobody". I can't particilarly stamp those words and say that he was right or wrong because not all issues of life are determinant on right or wrong.
I can illustrate by bringing to focus what is being said about. If the talk is about facts, achievements, role modelling and positive centered, then I can say that the above quote by the musician is right but if the talk or what is being said about someone is nasty, disdainful, idle and negative centered especially with a malicious undertone, then that is not just talking, that is what is known as gossip.
The oxford dictionary defines gosip to be an idle and casual chat about other people's lives or affairs. When we look at this definition, there seems to be no harm caused and this makes gossip to seem like a small issue. But sincerely, gossip is not just casual, it is damaging.
The fact that someone can think it is okay to air the dirty linens of another person simply because they are privy to it is an issue. Not only will that someone air the dirty linens to others but there will now be additional untrue statements just to sweeten the pot so as to cause the hearers to be wowed.
I have witnessed many bonds break because of gossip and that's why I say it is damaging. Nobody wants to hear nasty things been said about them not to even add the untrue words that would follow. Let me share one episode for clarity..
There were two ladies who were friends and living as neighbours in a large compound. These two ladies were usually seen together almost all the time. Lady A was married while Lady B was not but it didn't deter their friendship. Everytime Lady A's husband left for work, Lady B would come in and they would sit down to gist. Believing that Lady B was her friend, Lady A would complain to her about her husband's shortcomings especially in the area of finance. She would tell lady B how the money he gave for foodstuffs was little and all that.
One day, while Lady A went to the market to buy some food items, a store owner called her in and began to ask her personal questions about her husband and if he has gotten a job. Puzzled, Lady A said that her husband already had a good job and that was when the store owner told her that her friend (lady B) had told her that the man had no money because he had no job and that Lady A was the one feeding her husband. Lady A was so angry that she didn't buy anything else and rushed home to confront Lady B. The end point was a disaster as both ladies fought and more hurtful confessions surfaced. That ended their friendship and lady A had to placate her husband who was not happy with the things he heard about himself.
This is why gossip is a quagmire, any relationship that is formed from it will eventually sink. Lady B in that story added some untrue facts to what Lady A told her in confidence and she broadcasted it. Gossip does not help a society grow rather it breeds a lack of trust which in my opinion is anti-social behaviour. Humans thrive in the bonds made because man is a social being but gossip damages. say no to gossip.
Thanks for reading..shalom.
image credit : Meta Ai