I haven't always been good at persuading people to do things. It's a skill I've actively learned more about and practised over time.
I've learned a few things in the process. And while some people are more easily persuaded than others, I now know what I need to do in order to effectively persuade someone to take an action or stop doing something.
Am I perfect at it? Hell no! But, like any important skill, it's something I'm willing to keep practising and improving over time.
In case you'd like to get better at persuading people (and I think everyone probably wants this, whether they admit it or not) I'll share what I've learned in five key points below.
But before we dive in, let's talk about the elephant in the room:
Persuasion can be used for good or evil.
Now, I cannot control how you use the information I'm about to share. I can only hope and pray that you, like me, genuinely care about the well-being of others and that you want to use your skills of persuasion to get them to do things that are in their best interest.
I've experienced first-hand the incredible skills of persuasive people who were looking after what they wanted and were not taking into account what I truly wanted or needed.
So, again, I hope and pray that you use this information to help your fellow humans not to take advantage of them in any way.
But why would you want to persuade someone?
So Many Reasons! Here are a few:
- To get a job you want
- To help a client see the value in your work so they rebook
- To gain a loan, a grant or funding of some type for a business or project that you know will help many people
- To get your unhealthy family members to take better care of themselves
- And how about - to get more people to join us here on Hive?
The reasons are endless. I'm sure you can think of more. But now, let's get into the key points that I know have helped me and will likely help you become better at persuading people.
Five Keep To Become Better At Persuading
1. Listen. I know it's easy to think that persuading it about talking but how do you know what to say if you haven't really listened to the other person first?
If you take the time to listen to what they're telling you - about what they need, want, what problem they're facing, etc - they will reveal everything you need to know about how to frame the solution you want to offer them.
2. Ask great questions. Some people will simply start telling you their problem and so listening to what they offer up is a great starting point. Sometimes, asking some questions of them at this point will help you understand them and their needs even more. Though sometimes you'll already be clear on what they need or want, because a person who is self-aware and good at expressing themselves, may straight up tell you.
But sometimes you'll need to start the conversation with some questions that open them up to talk about themselves. Everyone is different. Some people will need help talking about their needs and wants; others will willingly tell anyone who will listen. Which brings me to the next point...
3. Be willing to adapt. The art of persuasion could be stated as 'the art of sales'. And any good salesperson will tell you that you need to be willing to shift, change and adapt to the person in front of you and what they're giving you. They may give you more or less info than you want. They may give you more or less objections than you were expecting. They may be able to communicate more or less clearly than the last person you were talking to. Your job is to be agile and move with them. Not everyone communicates the same way, in fact, I've never met two people who are the same in this manner, and the game is to pivot with them and see what you can achieve by talking the topic at hand through with them.
4. Discover what's important to them. Really, this is part of 'ask great questions' and 'listen' but it's so important that I'm giving it its own dot point here. This is about remembering and recognising that we all have different things that are important to us. Rather than expecting the other person to be interested in or value the same things you do, set out to discover what does actually interest them and what they do value.
Knowing this is gold because then you can frame what you have to offer or the solution you want to suggest in terms of what they already deem important to them. When you do this the other person is far more likely to consider your suggestion because you've spoken in terms that make sense to them and their life.
5. Be willing to let go. This one might seem counter-intuitive but sometimes we can be so attached to the other person joining our thing or taking our advice that our attachment to them doing what we want actually pushes them away. Some people will need to know that they have the freedom to choose. Some people will need time to mull it over. Some people will need to talk the opportunity through with a loved one. And sometimes people, even the fastest decision-makers on the planet, need time and space to rearrange particular aspects of their lives to make space for the new thing.
So listen, ask great questions, be willing to adapt as the conversation goes on, discover what's important to them and do your very best to explain 'your thing' to them in a way that will make sense to them with everything you've learned about them. But then, let it go.
Ultimately, we need to let people choose what is right for them.
So you do your best in communicating and then let the other person decide if they're going to take that next step.
This post was written in response to this week's topic in the QC Community. Which was this:
Persuasion - How important do you think persuasion is? How effective do you think you are at persuading someone? Has your persuasion skills ever helped you? How would you improve your ability to persuade someone?
You can find their post and participate by clicking here.