Nearly every person I've ever met needs a kind word and a pat on the back sometimes. Sure, some of us need it much more than others but especially when we're trying something new or tackling something that's right at the edge of our comfort zone or current ability, some words of encouragement go a very long way.
For some of us, it's easy to criticise, to find fault, to want to correct, fix or improve the actions of others. And while there's a time and place for this, for sure, so often when someone is already struggling with the challenge they're currently facing it is really not the time to express all your ideas for how they could do things better.
For some of us, it's easy to ignore the actions of another when they seem to be uncomfortable. Maybe we don't want to get involved. Maybe we think they don't want our help. Maybe we don't know what to say. But sometimes that's exactly the right moment to simply say, "I think you're doing really well! Keep going!" or some kind, genuine words that feel authentic as you consider what to say.
How can you be kind and encouraging to that other person in the situation you find yourself in?
In some contexts the right thing to say might not be with words but with your body language: A big smile, a high five, a fist bump.
Different situations and different relationships call for different things. The way I encourage a supervisor at work who seems to be coping well with a big challenge they're facing will be different from the way I encourage my young niece when she does something she feels is scary. And the way I encourage my partner--especially because he seems to need and want far less encouragement than anyone I've ever met before--will be entirely different again.
This post is in response to the following prompt by QueerCoin:
Encouragement
What do you think is the role that encouragement plays in helping someone achieve their goals?
How important is it to you that someone encourages you to accomplish your goals?
How would you encourage someone to fulfill their dreams?
And I don't seem to have totally answered these questions, so let me do that now.
I think encouragement can play a huge role in helping someone achieve their goals. As I said, some need it more than others but humans are not islands; we are supposed to work and play and live and grow together. So not only do we need others to actually do things for us in order to achieve many goals, but most of us also need others to tell us, "Hey. You're doing well! Keep it up!", especially when we hit unexpected obstacles on our journey.
For me, it's very important that people encourage me as I attempt to accomplish my goals. Very, very important.
That's because it's so easy for me to lose sight of the goal, get distracted, give up when it gets hard, convince myself I don't really want the goal after all, or really and truly believe that I'm not capable of achieving said thing. So surrounding myself with people who will tell me, somehow, some version of, "You've got this!" is essential if I'm going to achieve anything hard.
And the way I encourage someone else to fulfill their dreams?
As I said earlier, it depends on the context but what I'm always aiming for and what I'd encourage you to do is be genuine. If you can be genuine in your encouragement of someone else, the exact way you do it or the words you say don't need to be perfect. They'll feel your intention and that is what matters.
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