En esta oportunidad, la amiga 
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Antes de entrar en materia, debo recalcar que soy hija natural, solo cuento con un apellido que es el apellido de mi madre Chiquinquira Grarcia y esto es debido a que lo primero que me enseño mi padre desde mi primera infancia , fue su ausencia y con ella, a extrañar. Si, su ausencia, pues cerci unicamente con el cariño y el cuidado abnegado de mi madre, quien se esforzo en ser para mi ambas figuras y creanme que lo hizo y lo sigue haciendo muy bien, mas hace tiempo que comprendi que los roles de padre y madre son insustituibles por muy buena intencion que se tenga de cubrir ambos.
Cuantas veces de niña no me quede mirando como otros padres buscaban a mis compañeros en el colegio y en mi mente solo circundaba una interrogante: y mi papa? Interrogante que quedaba en el aire al dirigirsela a mi madre, quien siempre me salia con evasivas, cuentos de super heroes o simplemente con la tipica frase; ”yo soy tu papa y tu mama a la vez”, dentro de mi inocencia, algo me decia que asi no eran las cosas.
No fue hasta que cumpli 12 años, que un buen dia normal de colegio me estaba vistiendo para ir a clases y mi mama escucho un obituario que leyeron via radial anunciando el sensible fallecimeiento del señor: Alcides Ramon Ferrer Bastidas, a lo que luego de mirarme fijamente consternada me dijo: hija, ese era tu padre. No puedo definirles exactamente que senti en ese momento, confundida parti a clases y creo que luego no senti nada, como nada fue su presencia para mi en esos 12 años de vida.
Luego, al llegar del colegio me estaban esperando unas tias paternas en casa de mi madre, con la intencion de llevarme al funeral de mi papa, manifestando que sus ultimas palabras en su lecho de muerte fueron para mi y literalmente expreso:
Diganle a mi hija , que perdone mi ausencia.
Aunque sus palabras personalizadas en la voz quebrantada de mi tia me movieron el mundo, tengo que confesarlo, tambien les confieso que ese dia no me salio mover un pie hacia ese funeral donde a quien veria en un ataud, seria un commmpleto desconocido para mi; pense que si nunca habia tenido rostro vivo en mi mente; entonces para que ponerle un rostro muerto?
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Ese día me acosté a dormir y de madrugada sentí claramente como algo acaricio suavemente mi cara y hubo un susurro inentendible que me levanto con sobresalto, jamás he olvidado ese momento en mi vida y no se, para mi quedo grabado como la mejor manera de mi padre de despedirse de mi.
Al siguiente dia, fui a su casa materna con mi mama y allí me entere por las conversaciones de mi madre con mi abuela paterna; que el amor de ambos fue bastante tormentoso, mi abuelo se opuso rotundamente a ello y si algo puedo decirles de mi abuelo materno, es que tenía el carácter mas autoritario que he conocido en mi vida y miren que murió aun en mi juventud temprana.
Por lo que entendí, cuando mi mama salió embarazada de mi la envió al interior del país con sus parientes y logro separarla de mi papa tipo novela de TV; conto mi abuela ese dia que de esa separación, mi papa se entregó a la bebida y cuando mi mama regreso, ya nada era igual para ambos; mami sintió que el no lucho por nosotras y el, se sintió sin valor para hacerlo, además, el alcohol hizo estragos rápidamente en su vida hasta que lo llevo a la muerte por cirrosis hepática.
Conocer esa historia logro en mi como un reseteo en mi mente, claro, no toda la culpa se la atribuyo a mi abuelo y otros factores exógenos, pues pienso que querer es poder y quizás mi papa pudo haber hecho mucho mas de lo que hizo para que fuese otro el panorama; pero si es cierto que partir de ese momento, quien para mi era solo un donante de esperma para que yo naciera paso a ser lo que es y siempre fue en mi vida me gustase o no, Mi padre , enseñándome una gran segunda lección de vida: A no juzgar a nadie y menos sin conocer su historia.
Y para culminar, aquí les voy con otra lección y para mi la mas importante de todas; a pesar de estar ausente, de conocer de su nombre en el dia de su muerte; mi papa me enseño la mejor de las lecciones, lección de vida que me sano y aun me mantiene libre de ser prisionera de rencores y sentimientos nocivos similares gracias a Dios.
Mi papa señores, me enseño nada mas y nada menos que a perdonar de corazón , a soltar todo aquello que por una u otra razón recordamos con saña y no nos deja vivir en paz disfrutando de las bondades del milagro que llamamos vida porque perdonándolo a el, practico el perdon a diario en mi vida.
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Hoy dia, a mis 48 años de edad, solo tengo agradecimiento para el; por haberme dado la vida, por haberme dado una familia por su parte en especial una hermana y unos sobrinos a quienes adoro y sobretodo, por todo lo que me enseño desde su ausencia (Extrañar, no juzgar, perdonar).
Y con este párrafo me despido amigos, no sin antes recalcar lo liberadora que fue esta iniciativa y lo mucho que la disfrute, espero que sean del agrado de ustedes también y me permito invitar a 
Imágenes de uso gratuito, cortesía de pixabay.
English versión
Greetings dear friends of the Hispanic world community, I just read the title of this initiative and I loved it, because there is nothing better than telling the story of our experiences in the most natural way possible, in such a way that we can share experiences, learnings, call for reflection and even entertain others with our life anecdotes impregnated with crucial characters and situations that are well worth exposing with their respective morals.
On this occasion, the
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Before getting into the matter, I must emphasize that I am a natural daughter, I only have one last name, which is the last name of my mother Chiquinquira Grarcia and this is because the first thing my father taught me from my early childhood was his absenceand with it, to be missed. Yes, his absence, because it was only ensured with the affection and self-sacrificing care of my mother, who made an effort to be both figures for me and believe me, she did and continues to do so very well, but a long time ago I understood that the roles of a father and mother are irreplaceable no matter how good the intention is to cover both.
How many times as a child did I stare at how other parents looked for my classmates at school and in my mind there was only one question: what about my dad? Question that remained in the air when addressed to my mother, who always gave me evasions, stories about superheroes or simply the typical phrase; ”I am your father and your mother at the same time”, within my innocence, something told me that this was not how things were.
It wasn't until I was 12 years old, that on a normal day at school I was getting dressed to go to class and my mother heard an obituary that they read via radio announcing the sensitive death of Mr.: Alcides Ramon Ferrer Bastidas , to which after staring at me in dismay she told me: daughter, that was your father. I can't define exactly what I felt at that moment, confused, I left for classes and I think that later I didn't feel anything, like his presence was nothing for me in those 12 years of life.
When I got home from school, some paternal aunts were waiting for me at my mother's house, with the intention of taking me to my dad's funeral, stating that his last words on his deathbed were for me and he literally expressed:
Tell my daughter to forgive me for my absence.
Although her personalized words in my aunt's broken voice moved my world, I have to confess, I also confess that that day I couldn't move a foot towards that funeral where who I would see in a coffin would be a complete stranger to me; I thought that if I had never had a living face in my mind; So why put a dead face on it?
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That day I went to sleep and in the early morning I clearly felt something gently caress my face and there was an incomprehensible whisper that made me wake up with a start. I have never forgotten that moment in my life and I don't know, for me it was recorded as the best way of my life. father to say goodbye to me.
The next day, I went to his mother's house with my mother and there I found out from my mother's conversations with my paternal grandmother; that their love was quite stormy, my grandfather was categorically opposed to it and if I can tell you anything about my maternal grandfather, it is that he had the most authoritarian character that I have ever known in my life and look, he died even in my early youth.
From what I understood, when my mother became pregnant with me, she sent her to the interior of the country with her relatives and managed to separate her from my dad, like a TV soap opera; My grandmother said that day that after that separation, my father gave himself over to drinking and when my mother returned, nothing was the same for both of them; Mommy felt that he did not fight for us and he felt without the courage to do so. In addition, alcohol quickly took its toll on his life until it led to his death from liver cirrhosis.
Knowing that story was like a reset in my mind, of course, I don't attribute all the blame to my grandfather and other exogenous factors, because I think that wanting is power and perhaps my dad could have done much more than what he did to that the panorama was different; But it is true that from that moment on, who for me was just a sperm donor for me to be born became what he is and always was in my life whether I liked it or not, My father, teaching me a great second life lesson: Not to judge anyone, especially without knowing their story.
And to finish, here I go with another lesson and for me the most important of all; despite being absent, knowing his name on the day of his death; My dad taught me the best of lessons, a life lesson that healed me and even kept me free from being a prisoner of resentments and similar harmful feelings. Thank God.
My dad taught me nothing more and nothing less than to forgive heart, to let go of everything that for one reason or another we remember viciously and that does not allow us to live in peace enjoying the benefits of the miracle we call life because by forgiving him, I practice forgiveness daily in my life.
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Today, at 48 years of age, I only have gratitude for him; for having given me life, for having given me a family, especially a sister and nephews whom I adore, and above all, for everything he taught me since his absence (To miss, not to judge, to forgive).
And with this paragraph I say goodbye friends, but not before emphasizing how liberating this initiative was and how much I enjoyed it, I hope you like it too and I allow myself to invite
Free to use images, courtesy of pixabay.
