Hi there howdy hello, it's me 
Recently me and my steaming hot mess of a chronically stressed and incredibly depressed Subaru, Yolo McFukitol, awoke to find ourselves planted on the banks of the mighty Arkansas surrounded by the crumbling remains of an abandoned campground at Osage Point Park in Osage, Oklahoma.
After a hearty breakfast of beer-battered pancakes and several dozen Irish coffees for me and a few gallons of fermented skunk spray for Yolo we went prowling our way through the overgrown wasteland around us searching for the meaning of life. What we found instead were decrepit buildings and cracking rundown roads and picnic tables collapsing into the past, and so much garbage that we couldn't help but wonder if this old US Army Corps of Engineers installment now doubled as the town dump.
It was a place quite simply unlike any other we'd ever seen before. Words do it a great disservice; one must experience it in person in order to have even the foggiest of ideas regarding its true nature.
I'm actually not sure if I should call this a campsite cleanup or an urbex report.
It might be both.
Let's find out:
If I had tried to photograph every item of trash I found that day I would probably still be out there.
So here are just a few of the highlights.
When it was all said and done I think I wasted about four hours of my life on this cleanup.
Some of the things I found,
I wasn't even sure what they were.
I can confirm that every single item on this receipt that could have been littered, was in fact littered, because I found them and picked them up.
But hey, at least I got three free cigarettes out of the deal.
Behold the initial trash pile.
Fear not, for it will get much bigger.
Just as soon as I'm done exploring the ruins of this old restroom facility:
My oh my wasn't that a glorious ride. If you're wondering if I bothered to clean up any of the broken glass and ceramic shards and rusty needles and suspicious little piles of shit I found in there, the answer is hell no.
I exited the wrecked restrooms and re-entered Trashtopia:
Up and down the campground roads I methodically paced, picking up everything from spent fireworks and tennis balls to measuring tape and condom wrappers.
This beer koozie reads "In dog beers I've only had one." If you're wondering if I kept it, the answer is hell yes.
The beer can the koozie came with was empty, but luckily I found this unopened Natty Light to swap it out with.
I don't even know what to say about some of the stuff I found out there. Sure, a piece of a toy truck, why not.
One of the several used oil filters I found. Sure.
And of course a television set. Honestly I would have been a bit surprised if the Osage Point Park/Landfill did not offer at least one of these to its guests. I tried to move it but alas it was rather heavy and if I was going to be explaining how I'd thrown out my back to emergency room staff I wanted a better reason than "I walked into a patch of thorns and weeds taller than me and tried to pick up an old tube TV that clearly didn't work so I could carry it two hundred feet to my campsite and add it to the huge pile of garbage I'd spent all day collecting."
This place was so packed with trash that things were literally bleeding out into the river.
By the time I stumbled across this long-forgotten tent that looked like it still had a body in it I'd had enough. I was ready to call it a day and have a snack and maybe go for a swim.
However upon arriving at the water I discovered that I had some company. It's hard to tell by the picture but this fellow was about three feet long and he was looking at me through cold cloudy lifeless eyes like I was Jonah just waiting to be swallowed whole. So I bid him good day and retreated to my campsite.
And there you have it, Campsite Cleanup #20.
What a glorious ride that was.
I hope I never have to experience it again.
Here's to never seeing you again, Osage Point…
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