When a person becomes completely stupid, you know. There can be many reasons behind becoming dumb. But I think the reason behind some people becoming dumb is pain, emotion, their feelings. When a person cannot express his mind, his pain in his heart to anyone, then that person easily becomes completely dumb. It seems that no one in this world can hear him. Because of the patience or time to listen to him, everyone is busy like everyone else. I don't know exactly how many times our dear people will understand our feelings. Exactly how many times they will understand after explaining to them, we will also be hurt by their words.
I don't care what anyone says to me, but yes, I think in my heart that I am a human being and I will never be loved by everyone. Because a human being can never be loved by everyone and those who try to be loved are more poisonous than snakes. I have no problem with anyone thinking about me and doing whatever they want with me, but even after being so deeply involved with some people, when those people say that I have done nothing for them, could not do anything for them or will not do anything in the future, it really hurts me. I ask myself again and again whether I really did nothing for them or whether it was my fault.
I don't understand that everyone loves me for their own interests. Actually, it's not love. This is the world in which I myself am completely trapped. I have seen it once, nine thousand times. Every time I have trusted people, they have entered. There is no one in this world who is called a true human being. Everyone is only selfish. Brother, I keep walking on the road like myself. What does anyone think about me? Seeing so many things, I can't walk. I have to walk like myself. But yes, I have understood one thing. People like to make fun of me a lot. I don't care about that. Anyone who knows me will already know me. And I don't have the power to hold someone's hand and foot to increase my acquaintance.
I have no desire to go back to those who have thrown me away after using me. In fact, people say a lot of hurtful things in their hearts, and before saying anything to someone, I think that the person will not be hurt again by my words. This is my mentality, but everyone's mentality is not the same as mine, and not everyone can act the same way, so it is not everyone's habit to act the same way. Every person likes to act in their own way and likes to think about what they will do, but I like that if the person in front of me is good, then I think I will be good too.
I don't know what I have done for myself till now, but I have tried to fight with my best for the people I know and love. To be honest, I don't think I comb my hair once a week, and yet I think about everyone and fight constantly to fulfill everyone's dreams. I am a woman, a man, I can never say three different things to the same person, but yes, I can fight. I know that I have to fight for my loved ones until the last moment of my life, because even though I have pain in my chest, I have to talk with a smile. Even though I am bursting with pain, I have to convince everyone in front of me that I am much better.
But no one knows that it is good except me. I do not and never will try to convince anyone. He who understands will understand by himself. And even if you write an essay to someone who does not understand, he will never have the power to understand you. I have received inspiration from many people in my life. I have seen how beautifully someone has arranged his life. I am also trying to arrange my life again and again but I keep stumbling. It seems that nothing will happen to me. Is it really that nothing will happen to me? But I have decided that I will not give up. I will fight until the last breath of my life. I will see how much the people of this world can hate me. I will try. My fight will continue.
I believe that my God will never cheat me I believe that my hard work will never go in vain I believe that through my hard work I can move forward I believe that I have to move forward with new enthusiasm I believe that my God has surely kept success for me but I have to reach that road. I know that the road ahead is dark I can't see anything I don't understand anything What will happen with those who are beautiful I am constantly walking with Suddenly those people hit me in such a way I am completely breaking down from the inside Tears come out of my eyes I think in my heart I am actually so bad. I don't know whether I am bad or good The one who created me must know how good and how bad I am.
But till date I have not treated anyone very badly. I think in my heart that if I treat him badly, maybe someone else will treat me badly. I think in my heart that if I treat him badly, he will suffer, but the people who are constantly hurting me never think about how much I will suffer. Even then I don't think about anything. I feel like I have to stand up. I have to understand again that I came into this world alone, I was born alone, I am fighting my own battle alone and I have to leave this world alone. I will definitely request one thing from my family. After I die, let me know that I am not kept in this world for long. I am informed immediately.
Just as long as it takes to go around my grave, so that I am kept on earth and my body is not held for anyone because the sooner I can leave this world, the happier the people of this world will be. I cannot hide my pain, I can tell everyone with a smile that I am fine, but the existence inside me has completely ended, the person inside me died long ago, I am just a living corpse in this world now. Everyone says I am selfish but I do not understand for whom I did this, I cannot do anything but I cannot tell anyone anything, everyone says that I am a nuisance to everyone but no one wants to understand the pain in my heart.
I don't think I have ever said anything to anyone that has hurt them. Yes, sometimes when I can't bear it, I say a few words to my close people, but then I get hurt again. But that doesn't mean I'm teasing them. I understand one thing. In this world, I feel like I'm the cause of everyone's problems. The world will become much more beautiful when I'm gone. A Huzoor said in a sermon that after I'm gone, even if my house is built with dreams, it doesn't matter to me because I'm no longer in this world. It seems the same in my case. All the problems of everyone are because of me. I tease everyone. Not everyone can eat for me. I take away everyone's food and eat it. No one can go anywhere for me. I hold everyone back. Not everyone can move as they want. I hinder everyone. I am the worst person.