The Title Says It All
It has been a crazy 5 days since little Ricky was born. Wow! I have never been so tired in my life. And that includes the last time that I had a kid which was 24 years ago!
It is an absolute world of difference between then and now, from my perspective as a father. There is really no comparison at all! Back then, I was a dumb 19 year old kid who thought he knew everything. I didn't think so at the time, but I was quite selfish and too caught up in my own drama to fully appreciate the amazing experience that I was having.
This time, at 44 years old and having gone through an awful lot in my life, this little guy really hit my heart hard. I was not expecting the emotional overload that ensued after his birth. For one, I never expected to be a dad again. My wife and I have been together for 15 years, and have never even had a hint of pregnancy. Then, 9 months ago - out of the blue she was pregnant!
So I've been sitting here staring at him for almost a week now. It's hard to believe that it has even happened. I find myself full of love, yet terrified of something hurting him. I find my eyes scanning around the room, zooming in on sharp edges of things, as if I'll accidentally drop of on them. It makes me hold him a little tighter!
I have so many things that I want to teach this little guy. I can't help but think that by the time he is 20, I'll be 65. I guess if I want to be in his life for as long as possible, I better whip my ass in shape! I guess all we can do is take life one day at a time. I am just super happy that he is here with us now!