Aging is a terrible thing. But it's also frustratingly inconsistent, something which I am continuously reminded of.

Fitness Experts seem to be able to predict it. If you can't do a certain exercise in your 30's, they can guarantee with 90% accuracy that you won't be walking up stairs un-aided by the time you're 70, for example.

A lot of it is also down to genetics though, unfortunately.

I am often fascinated and impressed by those who manage to maintain themselves well into their elderly years, and I despair that I have until recently failed to commit to such things. Even now, I am unlikely to be doing enough (although my legs are in great shape, my knees are clearly in their creaky stage of wear & tear paying me back).

Look at these examples of great agers:

This guy is a 90-year-old bodybuilder.

William Shatner is 94 and he looks younger than me. More importantly, his mind is still sharp. He's funny, intelligent, and easily has deep philosophical discussions about modern issues after leaping out of a spacecraft and jogging home (practically). Watch an interview with him in his 90's, it's unbelievable. He says the most important thing is to stay curious. I think he's right.

David Attenborough. 99 years old. He could have days or years left. I would LOVE to see him reach the big 100. A testament to his lifestyle. Decades and decades of traveling the world, exploring, and being an educational powerhouse.

This one's a bit controversial because yes, he is caked in makeup and all the other elements, but nobody can deny, he's almost 79 years old and the president. Still catching flights and doing presidential things. Still dominating the world headlines and, let's face it, he has a strong, steady gait, has a strong mind (even if you think he's just stupid by default) and honestly when you see interviews of him in his 30's, there is very little, if any, difference in the way he talks or presents himself - back when everybody seemed to love him.

The reason I bring him up is due to the contrast with a friend of a friend's father, who is currently 76, and very much not in the healthy state Trump is. In fact it's terrifying how different these two people of the same age are. I don't want to show pictures but if you imagine both legs rotted, heavy dementia, goo oozing out of the skin, you're halfway there.

He honestly looks like what I imagine a 90 year old should look like. Back lurched over almost 90 degrees. Frail and weak, hair so thin you can barely see it, walking cain just to get to a chair.

76 years old. 2 years younger than Trump.

People say wealth is a factor too, but this guy ain't poor, either and healthcare in the UK is free (albeit terrible).

You have to be mentally stimulated if you want your last years to be at least halfway enjoyable. I think there are so many people out there who just settled for their lot in life doing a job for 50 years, constantly dreaming for retirement, and as soon as that happens, dementia almost immediately sets in as they rock back and forth on an old chair until they die.

How Selfish to be such a burden?

Now, I am not one to believe people shouldn't have kids for selfish reasons like looking after you when you're old, but I do think it's the responsibility of parents to do their damndest to hold off such a decline in health as much as humanly possible. Sure, genetics and all, but come on.

Learn a musical instrument, learn a language or two, study history. Go to the gym, do a marathon, stop eating so much shit. It truly makes a difference. And to be honest, I don't think most of us realise how little time we actually have left.

We look at 'average life expectancy' and think 'it's fine, I got 20 years left at least', but that assumes you're as healthy and mentally awake as the average, which I illogically believe most people aren't lol.

And the bigger point is, it's the time you're alive which is the burden years. When you're dead, people can cry a bit and move on with a hole in their soul. But before that, they might have to care for a crippled old fool 6 months or 15 years, that part's up to you as the soon-to-be-elder.

It's also just common sense. Why would I want a good third of my remaining life to be painful and miserable? Struggling to get out of bed, needing technology to assist me, having other people wipe my ass for me...?

Honestly if society allows it, I'll sign the 'right to not be a burden anymore' bill any day.

There's something to be said about warrior races like... Vikings, Spartans... Klingons and Saiyans.

Die young with honour and dignity in battle. Those you leave behind will have cherished memories of you in your prime, sacrificing oneself to a greater cause as a hero to society. People don't get quite as many years with you but in the end, who wants memories of their parents' legs rotting off and skin becoming translucent thin, imagery etched into your mind forever, rather than the strong, young version?

It's a pity I'm such a coward or I'd head right into a war somewhere right now.

But yeah if we insist on living as long as we can all the time, at least do it properly. Don't ruin the lives of the people who love you, until it's too late for them to enjoy life themselves.

What I'm saying is, put down the frickin' pizza and call a piano teacher already!