When I began my climb out of years of drugs and alcohol, I told the people I was with in the VA Homeless Veterans Domiciliary program, that we were "Damaged Goods".
After all the crap I've done in my life, burning bridges, ruining family relationships, ruining my body with Drugs and Alcohol, I truly felt that I was broken. Still do most days.
I know, if you are religious you also know, that The Son was sacrificed to show that we are all WORTHY of forgiveness and happiness.
I just can't seem to find my way out of the dark, and lately has been especially bad.
Physically, I can't even do as much as I did last year, which is depressing in and of itself.
I do have a companion of sorts now, and His Majesty goes a long way towards making me feel better, but it just isn't the same.
My mind is filled with dark thoughts. Last night, in fact I have them right in front of me now, I considered putting on one or more Fentanyl patches.
72 hr timed released patches, in conjunction with some other meds I have, should put me to sleep on a permanent basis, but I'm not really ready to "check out" just yet.
But I am thinking about it, sadly.
I'd hate to leave His Majesty, but as cute as He is, I feel sure He would do just fine without me.
Prayers would be appreciated