When I was little, many of the adults around me observed that I seemed very somber and serious. Some even remarked that I seemed to have an inner sadness.
"What nonsense!" my mother declared and proceeded to dress me in "cheerful" pastel yellow sweaters. Made me look like a regretful Easter chicken.
Regardless, the sadness my 7-year old self felt at seeing a dead animal at the side of the road felt far more intense and "real" than what I felt when something really good happened. Sure, I was pretty happy when I got my first bike, but I was never "one of those kids" you see in YouTube clips who completely lose it and run squealing around the house when they get the toy they wanted for Christmas.
To say that I feel a certain attraction to ennui and sadness wouldn't be completely out of line, although it's perhaps more accurate to say that I simply am not one of those "enthusiastically bouncing around like a Labrador puppy" types of personalities.
Trust me, I have been screened for depression, plenty of times. I am not depressed. I also don't suffer from anhedonia.
My friend Ann, the therapist, simply thinks that I am not UN-comfortable with feelings of quiet sadness, while most people are.
And maybe that's where a nugget of truth can be uncovered: In our modern world, we have come to believe that having sad feelings is an indication of a mental health issue... so people are prescribed happy pills, rather than being allowed to actually experience their sadness. I have no fear of experiencing sadness; grief doesn't make me uncomfortable.
In the earlier parts of the 20th century, I would most likely have been described as having what psychologist C.G.Jung referred to as "The Melancholic Temperament."
Funny how, back then, it was merely a personality trait, and now it's an illness.
But to get back on topic here, are we really doing anyone any favors by labeling an ever-increasing number of aspects of the human experience as "abnormal?" Yes, I can hear someone in the peanut gallery going "It makes Big Pharma happy!"
Honestly. I don't care one whit whether Big Pharma is happy.
In the end, I am quite content with who I am, and I how I approach my spectrum of emotions. But it saddens me, at times, that it makes society at large uncomfortable that I am not "happy and shiny" enough...
See what I did there?
Thanks for reading, and have a great remainder of your weekend!
How about YOU? How is your relationship with sadness? Do you feel that society places too much emphasis on everyone being "happy and shiny" at all times? Comments, feedback and other interaction is invited and welcomed! Because — after all — SOCIAL content is about interacting, right? Leave a comment — share your experiences — be part of the conversation!
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Created at 20210110 00:32 PST
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