I'm back in Stockholm since a couple of days and it was actually a nice feeling arriving here. I realized I really have it quite good and there are so many opportunities in this city if I just open my eyes and my mind to it. I have a couple of upcoming social events and the pole dancing really lifts my spirits. (I'll actually spend more time dancing from now on, maybe that's a topic for another post).
Actually, I also have a huge celebration. Yesterday I received the email saying that I'm now officially a certified Sex, Love, and Relationship coach at the Tantric Institute of Integrated Sexuality. Yay š My portfolio has been approved. I can honestly say I think this training has been the biggest challenge to get through so far in my life. It's been a very busy year, 2020 (and beginning of 2021).
But well, it's not the endpoint, of course. This work and my path as a coach just continues. I'm busy with my so-called majors (what I will specialize in) and for one of them (called Conscious Dating) I'm having a coaching exchange with a peer. That means we coach each other so I'm also working through these practices as a coachee. And this week we did some Inner Child work in regards to dating and finding soulmate love. I have connected to my Inner Child before, she is actually a resource for me. And she is onboard with my desires. So she is actually not scared or feels abandoned. (If you are familiar with Inner Child work you know this part of you can really be hurting). I'm not saying I don't have any Inner Child issues, I might not have dug deep enough, but so far, from the work I have done, my Inner Child is more of an advisor.
And she is a bit frustrated with me. She thinks I'm way too serious and that I have forgotten how to play. It really hit me in the process I was guided through by my peer this week. I cried, it was so beautiful to feel her in my body and see her in my mind's eye. She is so full of life, so happy, and so creative. She doesn't really understand my struggles in life and tells me there is so much to explore, no matter the circumstances. Yes, life can be hard sometimes but there is always an opportunity to be playful. To do things just because it brings you joy.
Now, I want to add that as an adult, I also have a rather fun side, a part of me that's not serious at all. But that part is not really childlike, it's not so playful, or innocent I should say. It's a more sexy part, a sexual part, that also wants to play.
So well, my peer suggested some homework for me (that's part of the coaching):
To do tiny things that ignite joy and playfulness throughout the week.
Making faces with food, making faces at yourself in the mirror...whatever calls out your Inner Child to play.
Enjoy yourself.
My first response to this suggestion was that this makes no sense, why would I do things like that? It has no purpose, or no rationale maybe is a better way to describe it. And then it hit me that I never do things like that. I tend to be very rational whatever I'm doing (you could also say efficient), especially when it comes to cooking. That is just something I want to get done as fast as possible. Why take the time to play with the ingredients? I felt I have so much to learn.
I think a part of this disconnection is due to that I don't know any children. I never interact with children and I haven't for a long time. They feel a bit foreign to me. And to be honest, I don't really have an interest. I know it would be different if I had some close friends with children but I also think it's been a conscious choice to find friends without children, or without the desire to have children. I have also never wanted to be a mother myself. I know this is a controversial topic. Maybe it's time I get to know some children. I feel they could really teach me something. But well, no rush...I'll start with this homework, that feels like a good first step.
There are no seven wonders of the world in the eyes of a child. There are seven million.
ā Walt Streightiff
Thanks for reading š
Love and blessings to you all š
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