I spoke with a really good friend of mine, the other day. We speak on the phone about once a month or so, checking in to see how each other is doing. I have known her, since I trained in mental health and after a few years she came to live with me for a while, when I was living in Australia. We are both from Ireland and we both are now mothers. We have had a lot of fun together and she has always see the world for how it is. It is always so refreshing speaking to her.
She continues to work in mental health, I stopped working, when I became pregnant and I am well aware how much it takes out of you, especially if you are a caring person. We both have met lots of people working in that area, who were in the job for the wrong reasons, we also know that it can really change you and not always in such a positive way.
In order to promote positive mental health,in order to be able to support people who are suffering with their mental health, you need to understand the importance of self care. Which of course, is one of the last things that is taught to anyone who chooses this career.
There also, really needs to be a screening process for those who wish to get involved in any type of care work. Because it is not for everyone and it is so tough sometimes. I have a massive amount of respect for the people that I helped in the community, and working there blew my eyes open to the way in which the human world operates.
But the amount of pain and suffering that you hear about and that you then carry with you, it is a very tough jobs at times, but also so rewarding. The biggest challenge for me, was working for the system. Seeing first hand, how wealth is always prioritized over health, with the pharmaceutical companies pulling the strings.
But actually being placed in that position, was what really opened my eyes to this reality and motivated me to try and ensure that none of the people I supported, went back into hospital. Of course some would relapse, but I tried my best to inform them and empower them.
It's inevitable that you suffer burn out working in jobs like this. When I was talking with my friend, we discussed how different it would be, we where taught more about self care. When I decided to train as a Doula, I took my time trying to decide who I wanted to train with.
In the end I chose Red Tent Doula's, because their mission and values resonated with me. When I did register, they send me a work book and the majority of the book was around self care, with specific exercises that you had to do, for the next few weeks, until I met up them, in person.
Ceremonies and ritual, also played a part in what they deemed necessary, in order to prepare you to become a Doula and how right they are.
How can you be expected, to really care for others, when you do not know, how to care for yourself. When you don't prioritize it and practice it. Most of us grew up in a world, where we were told, that we were being selfish, if we put ourselves first!
When we are not aware of all the rites of passage that we go through in life, these moments of transformation, that are so overlooked and have a huge impact on our lives. Life is complex and confusing and so often we can be left feeling unprepared and fearful. Not realizing that what we have experienced, could have empowered us, if only we realized the significance of it. If we knew, how to tune into our intuition and respond to what we really need in that moment and in the right way.
Instead we are told to look to others for the answers, to look outside of ourselves to be healed. I can see why self care is not part the curriculum, because in order to work for a system that disempowers others, we ourselves need to be disempowered as well.
I would love to see self care being promoted more and not just for those who work in jobs supporting others. As we move forwards, we will see more and more people suffer with their mental health, as they try and come to terms with what has been happening in the world.