It was Valentines weekend. For people like us that work as cooks in a restaurant, it's tough like many holidays. They have allowed sit down dining for the last couple of weeks and people are making up for lost entertainment. Wow how exhausting is pumping out food while watching people sit at a candlelit table drinking cocktails and eating food like they're dining with royalty, and a smug look on their face with the aura of privilege surrounding them. They all have the proper documents unlike us.
They sit there talking, two and a half hours past closing time, knowing they are one of two tables left in the restaurant. We close the lights in different places. We do little subtle things to hint that we are closed. Marc and I leave before the front of the house and we walked past the loiterers singing "bye!!!!" to our poor servers left behind. The loiterers don't blink an eye. They keep talking laughing and texting. We know that our attitude is kind of wrong. These are the people that pay our rent. It doesn't mean that we don't have knots in our gut every time we go through these things.
Are you these people? You don't have to answer that. However in case you care to know, I will give a list of things that piss us off. This will probably piss some of you off. Here goes a list of 10 things. If you don't want to turn into a hater, then skip this.
As already mentioned, staying behind in an empty restaurant hours after closing time when staff are waiting for you to leave.
Expecting a kitchen to keep you from dying if you have a very serious or lethal allergy. Our items come from somewhere that could have cross contamination. Instead of getting angry when we tell you we can't guarantee anything, you should stay home and ensure that if you die, you did it to yourself. Sorry allergy people. We do our best so just don't be mean.
Making reservations for 4 than only ordering a small item each while sitting for two hours without drinks, and not leaving more than a 10 percent tip. Really? Why don't you have a potluck at one of your homes so you don't look so ridiculous in public.
Bringing babies and toddlers to a late evening and ignoring them while they scream next to a couple trying to have a nice dinner. Leave your table with the kid and distract them instead of carrying on with your important conversation.
Asking to change your seat when the restaurant is almost packed. The servers are busy serving the other folks that sat where they were sat. There are things that can be forgiven like physical difficulties. Not just because you would rather have a cushioned seat. It's busy okay?
Asking to rearrange the menu. "Can I have the such and such, but change the such and such for such and such, omit the such and such replacing with such and such blah blah blah. There is a limit as to what we can do. One customer always ordered the filling for the tacos, without the tortillas, demanding we give double the filling and charge less. The tortillas cost next to nothing compared to the ingredients inside.
Asking for one little thing, taking your time, then another, taking your time, then another and so forth. If you aren't having cocktails try to make up your mind near the beginning of your dining unless you leave a huge tip, which you probably won't because you usually don't.
Being rude to servers that can't answer your questions. Call the owner or write a bad review. The servers are people with feelings and can't control certain things.
When we told you it was a vegan restaurant, stop demanding that we keep your food dairy and egg free unless you are polite about it which you usually are not.
Last but not least. Making reservations for fifteen minutes before close and not ordering for an hour while you wait for your friend to show up. After they show up, if they do, you take your time making up your mind after you have caught up with the latest gossip.
Are you still here and not hating me? I know I'm a jerk.
I have never been into valentines day which I personally find cheesy. I have never attracted guys that did any of that sappy stuff like flowers candy and teddy bears. I don't understand why grown women want teddy bears from men. Candy can be eaten at least and flowers are nice but we can get them anytime. I know more to hate me for. Excuse me I am unwinding with a little humor which is probably undetectable throughout these words. As we Canadians say, "sorry".
I will move on to chocolate tartes.
I have always said that I don't have much of a sweet tooth like I used to when I was younger. It seems something has happened to me and my partner in the last few weeks. We have had a surge of sweet craving. Even though this chocolate tarte that I made resembles something that you may have on Valentines day, it is not in our case.
Crust
1 cup almond flour
1 cup kamut flour
1 cup coconut flakes
1 cup soaked or soft dates
3 tablespoons maple syrup
3 or 4 tablespoons vegan butter (or water to moisten)
1 teaspoon salt
Blend until it forms a dough.
I used a small tarte pan and had some left over which I put in the freezer.
I put it in the oven for 15 minutes on 350. I have a countertop oven which doesn't have accurate heat. If I had used a regular oven it may not have taken so long.
Filling
2 cups dark vegan chocolate
1 can coconut milk
1/2 cup almond milk
1 teaspoon vanilla
Melt in a pot stirring until smooth and pour into pie shell.
I didn't add sugar or sweetener. The chocolate was sweetened but not too sweet the way I like it.
The sweetness of the crust added to the over all sweetness.
Raspberries and strawberries are some of the few fruits available. Of course they are all imported like all fruits in Canada. I love chocolate and berries.
Thanks for stopping by and if you're still here, don't take me too seriously. Happy Valentines day to those who like that stuff. Love is good in any form on any day.❤️
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