Those who have known me for a couple of years, might remember that - on my blog - I used to mainly write movie reviews and share my past or ongoing filmmaking adventures ( Remember Tunnels of the Shadow People? ).
I guess that´s kind of a logical thing to do for someone who studied film in University (2000 to 2007) and who worked on his own shoestring indie projects from 2010 to 2019, including three unsuccessful attemtps at producing and directing a feature film, the last one, in Spanish, on the tiniest of the Canary Islands (El Hierro).
I took a break from filmmaking in early 2019. It burnt me out and I was already recovering from a burnout and what was probably a depression, the effect of trying several times to actually fit into the system thereby depressing my creativity and actual desires.
Now I think of it, I worked as a film teacher in many different forms and shapes but I have also had a job as a film critic or movie reviewer a long time ago. I had to look it up. It was 2006-2007 (near the end of Uni, at a time when I was struggling with my final (film)thesis ).
I held that job for a year and a half. It was voluntarily and I was 'paid' in DVD´s and movies screenings in cinema (excluding popcorn and drinks). Doing this mainly made me realize that I wanted to be more than just a movie critic. It didn´t satisfy me and reminded me too much of what I wasnt doing, had stopped doing: making movies. I was merely watching them and writing about them and had done this for a long, long time.
In all honesty, I was focusing on everything but actual film making itself. Although I had made some attempts at film production, starting as early as 2002 and had worked for months on an ambitious short film project in 2005, it would eventually take until 2010 (and after two 'escape attempts' to Spain, where I learnt Spanish) before I finally got into filmmaking. In all the years in between, I kept writing stories and screenplays though.
2010-2019 Filmmaking vs Fitting In
From 2010 onward, up till early 2019, I worked more or less actively on indie shoestring budget film projects. Several attempts to make ends meet, by working on ( commercial ) films ( made for others ), didn´t feel right and often led to unsatisfying results. I got sucked into the system again and again, which - in turn - drained me from my creativity. I couldn´t find my freedom there, as a creative. I had hardly any money, got fired or quit jobs all the time and had to move house again and again. All of this adds up to why I ended up on the block- and blogchain in 2017, as well as to why I made the move to The Netherlands from Portugal, early 2018. I can survive with way less money here. You could say that the system doesn´t have me in a stranglehold any longer, although it still tries (and is fading out in the background). I left the hamster wheel and am running free again. It isn´t always easy but way less of a struggle than it used to be.
In case you´re interested, back in the days I wrote 4 posts called How to not Make a Movie based on my experience and struggles as a filmmaker. I've ofen thought and said that I might write a book one day with that title. I´m just not sure how helpful that will be. It might be entertaining though for the reader and they might learn from my mistakes.
Fast forward to 2019, when I paused my filmmaking activities after having spent 8 and a half years of some fun and mainly a lot of struggle.
At the end of that same year, I decided to focus on (book) writing, something I have been wanting to do for ages. It led to the dinoverse / hypersensitivosaurus series that I'm working on now.
Three dino books in progress...
Then, last year, in 2020, I started a dedicated movie account but that one was short lived. I wasn´t really feeling it. I also lost my keys (at least temporarily due to tech issues as of late)
That's Entertainment!
Film is not necessarily entertainment for me. Or, to rephrase that, most films that entertain others don´t easily entertain me (and not because I lack a sense of humor). I just turned into somewhat of a film snob in the last two decades or you could say that I have a unique taste in movies. I´m sure it would happen to you, after studying film and making no budget films yourself.
The fact that I´m subscribed to a movie streaming site called MUBI known for international (mainly) arthouse cinema tells you enough. Most stuff on Netflix doesn´t make my heart beat faster. I'm not a binge watcher, although I've tried.
I prefer decent storytelling over special effects, realistic (non) acting over moviestars recycling themselves again and again, suspense over fast paced action scenes that make your head spin and so on and so forth.
I still have a weakness for 80s and early 90s movies though, as I was born in 1981. I also love 70s movies (many of my favorite films are from those 10 years), the decade when the blockbusters were born and when arthouse cinemas started to flourish, showing international (not merely North American) cinema to their audiences worldwide.
It's fair to say that I usually prefer a well made B movie over an average, forgettable big budget film.
Let´s stop beating around the bush. I can do that in my dino stories (there's a jungle there). What can you expect from me here? As the title hints at, I plan to write about non mainstream movies and I will do so in an atypical way.
I usually get bored of reviews that just talk through the plot or story. If I´d wanted to know this, I would just watch the movie. I love more personal reviews, for instance about the situation surrounding the watching of a particular movie. I wanna know how the viewer felt, what emotions were evoked while and after watching the film and so on. I wanna feel!
Therefore, I aim to make you feel emotions when you read my reviews. I want to inspire you to go watch something, not just because everybody talks about it and you FOMO. No, the opposite, because hardly anybody does talk about, because I awakened a little light inside of you to watch something you wouldn´t ordinary pick...
Ambitious, I know, but I can´t help it. This is how I am. Take it or leave it. I don´t make promises but if people like this (possible series) it might become a weekly thing.
I plan to start with the XTro trilogy. Still need to watch Part 3 through.
TO BE CONTINUED...
The screenshot above this write up shows you my recent viewing history on MUBI: A film from Morocco about an impossible relationship between a rich, white middle aged Frenchman and a poor, young Moroccan woman; An atypical Indian movie about 1980s C movie underground filmmaking in Bombay, with a mixed in Romeo and Juliet like love(?) story and a crazy French movie classic about magic and a haunted house, that I found more or less entertaining but I cant say I enjoyed it.
If you´re still with me, I talked about the first 2 XTRO movies with my good friend This guy recently got serious about movie reviews himself. I suggest you go follow his alt account
He tends to write about bad movies in a good way.