I got to be an auto-electrician today.
Well, not really, but sort of.
You see, I changed my headlight bulbs a while back and while doing so, I found that the heat from the bulbs working shorting had basically over time melted the little plastic covered spade connector. It crumbled in my fingers like the dreams of a teenager leaving secondary school.
At the time, the little metal spade connector on the inside was still intact so I replaced the bulb, fitted the connector and away I went. For a while anyway.
On Sunday morning I had to wake up at 4am to attend an event that started at 6 but I had to be there to help with the set up and operations so I left home when it was inky black outside. I switched on my headlights, drove through, got through the day and left at around 11am. On the drive home, I used my indicator to change lanes and well, what do you know? The thing was ticking like in was in B fib. Ok, so my right indicator was clearly malfunctioning.
This left me with very few options but to stick my hand out of my window and use hand signals. Not the kind I normally use to tell people off who can't drive, nope. The kind that catch you totally unawares when you're on the highway and you put your hand out and realise that the wind sheer is enough to make it bend the wrong way. So having half dislocated my right arm at the elbow, I decided that doing that on a long term basis would probably not be so good for me.
The engine was too hot to tinker with when I got home, but after dinner, I enlisted the help of my house mate at trying to work out exactly what was causing the problem. I have tiny little hands and they know their way around...umh - engine compartments 😁
My house mate asked if I knew how a multimeter worked. I looked at him quizzically and said "In theory".
Don't tell anyone, but in theory doesn't work "in practice" and I now admit I have no cooking clue how to use a multimeter to diagnose indicator issues on a car
So I ditched the multimeter and took the caps off the light fittings, unscrewed the indicator light bulb and held it up to the light - the filament was intact so it wasn't a blown bulb. That only left one thing that it could be...the freaking spade connector whose casing had crumbled in my fingers previously.
When I pried it off, well what do you know? The freaking thing broke in half. It's metal and it disintegrated! So I figured that was probably the problem. I showed it to my house mate and he happily exclaimed "well, you won't believe it, but I have a whole lot of those in the garage". We found one the right size and then the real problem arose.
There were two wires that needed to be plugged into the back end of the little spade. So cutting off the old spade wasn't the problem, but I had to open up the hole for them to go into. I found a pair of needle nosed pliers and managed to pry it open with the tip of them.
And then...I did something dumb.
You see, I'm not the smartest tool in the shed when it comes to planning the chronological order of putting things back together. So instead of putting the shrink wrap onto the thing before putting in the wires, I put them in and closed the ring and smiled gleefully to myself and then looked up at my housemate who was smiling back at me while holding up the shrink wrap.
"Oh for fuck's sake!" I exclaimed, my self accolades turning to self-frustration and annoyance. He and I both had a laugh and then he went off to find a bigger piece of shrink wrap that would fit over the entire thing.
I managed to get it heated up and shrunk down and then I shoved the fucker onto the connector plate.
Turned the key, flipped the switch and ...
TA DAAAA!
I could have been a fucking auto-electrician!
No, okay that's probably not true even in the slightest, but my headlights and indicators all work now and I didn't pay anyone a dime.
What's the moral of the story?
Don't put your hand out of your car window at 120kms per hour on the freeway, it hurts don't forget the shrink wrap.