How often it happens that grandparents complain to each other about ungrateful grandchildren: they do not respect, are not interested in their life, ignore their advice. One of our readers, Vera Samoilova from Kaliningrad, is sure that, in most cases, the elderly themselves are to blame for this situation. She told the editorial team why she came to this conclusion and shares her thoughts on how this situation can be avoided.
I am a happy grandmother, but being familiar with many families, I find that the current generation does not value their ancestors. It is sad to watch, and even sadder to realize that the elderly themselves are to blame for this, for the most part. According to my observations, a certain behavior of grandparents leads our grandchildren to grow up so ungrateful today.
They do not know how to develop in their grandchildren the interest and desire to communicate with the elderly.
Respect and the desire to spend time with us are natural things if they are instilled in children from birth. It is difficult to do something if the grandson is not used to communicating with his grandmother since childhood and does not appreciate the time they spend together when he grows up.
Now we are just ancestors to them, sometimes something completely prehistoric. Our task is to show that it is interesting to communicate with the older generation, that grandfather can teach how to build a plane with matches, and that grandmother can crochet. And what wonderful fairy tales are kept in their heads!
Having shown all this to my grandchildren, from childhood, to instill in them an interest in themselves and to maintain it, this, in my opinion, is the key to successful communication between the older generation and the younger generation.
They want gratitude and are offended if they don't receive it
Older people often want at least a formal thank you, and grandchildren just don't understand why this should be done.
Makes excessive demands on grandchildren.
Some grandchildren take personal care for granted. That is why they are so demanding. Yes, and we grandmothers often blame ourselves for such selfishness, as we encourage it with our actions.
Ignoring your own interests for the benefit of your grandchildren.
Grandchildren may simply not understand that we have our own interests and hobbies. And they should be; after all, grandparents are developed personalities with a full list of activities they enjoy. Someone likes to knit, someone reads, someone plays sports.
They don't know how to say no to grandchildren, they show excessive sacrifice.
Our grandchildren may not realize that we are not omnipotent, because their ideas about this were distorted by ourselves - too loving and self-sacrificing grandmothers and grandfathers.
The attitude of grandchildren towards their elderly is directly dependent on their behavior. If we miss something, behave like a victim or, on the contrary, are arrogant and cynical in dealing with children, then it should not surprise us that they “sit on our neck”, do not respect us and are rude. To instill in children gratitude and interest in communicating with the older generation, it is worth changing their line of behavior, becoming more open, instilling an interest in communication within the family and being closer to children and grandchildren.
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