Angry words, abandoned by a child in a fit of rage, painfully hurt the mother's heart. And if it's "I hate you!", It hurts a hundred times. It does not matter that the baby is only 2 years old or almost 15 years old, it does not matter anyway.
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The heart of a child is overwhelmed by such a variety of feelings that there are no words to express them. This is anger at the situation, an insult that is not all you want, love for your mother and anger, so you want to beat who is near. Even for an adult to face such a flow of emotions is not easy, and even for children, it is almost impossible. That is why it expresses everything in a phrase "I hate you!", And an experienced father must recognize and discover the true causes of the conflict.
The child can not say: "Mom, I'm sorry, but now I'm so mad at you that I'm ready to catch you, but I will not because I love you." It makes me even worse: being angry and loving at the same time is difficult. And I can not cope with this anger and I desperately need you right now. Help me!Too hard for the child, right? The only thing he can do to describe all the incited rage is to say: "I hate you!" Often by these words a child wants to say: You do not listen to me I am very sick. I feel something incomprehensible in my soul, and I can not understand what to do, I can not explain it. You do not understand what I really need now. It seems that we speak different languages! What you want and what you want are two different things. In a time of great affluence of anger, the child really needs a sponge for parents, who can receive these strong emotions and digest them, helping the child to face them. And so that the ears do not detach from what they heard, it is enough to imagine that a son or a daughter does not say a stranger "I hate you!", And "I need you!"
We answer unpleasant words to our children.
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- I do not care what you feel!
- I do not care
- Well, well, then I hate you too!
- I'll make you regret these words.
- If so, then I will not feed you today / I will not give a toy / I will not let you see cartoons / play on the phone.
- You're an ungrateful child! Everything is for you, everything for you, undernourished, you do not sleep enough.
To the phrase "I hate you!" It is important to answer correctly:
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✺ You hurt me, I'm very sad that you say it.
✺ I feel so bad for you now.
✺ You do not hate me, but you do not like what I said / did.
✺ Even though it hurts for your words, I still love you.
✺ I will discuss with you what is happening now when you calm down, because now you are angry.
✺ I understand that he is very angry with me, but saying those words to close people is very wrong.
✺ I hurt you, I understand you.
✺ You're not ready to talk now, but I'll be there when you need me.
✺ Stay a little and think what happened. When you need me, I'm there.
It is important to respond intelligently to the child, because with a badly hidden aggression will only bring harm, will increase the gap between the child and you. Therefore, if you feel you are upset, take a break and, when you calm down, talk to your child.
Source for information:
https://www.vix.com/es/imj/familia/5784/mi-hijo-me-insulta-estrategias-para-afrontarlo
https://www.guiainfantil.com/articulos/educacion/conducta/como-corregir-a-los-ninos-que-insultan/
