With trepidation and excitement, he stashed away his parachute. Pvt Johnson had just airdropped in for his most important mission ever. The Venusian Alien threat would finally be stopped, once and for all. Intelligence had become frustrated by its presence. His mission: sneak into the Alien base and nullify it.
He looked forward. A dense, humid rainforest lay before him. He remembered his target; he would need to make his way through the bush and reach the tunnel. He needed to deposit the payload down the intake chute.
At first, it was easy making his way through the forest, but slowly the brush began to get denser and denser. Then heard a earsplitting shriek!
“TZREEEEEEEEEEEH!!!!”
A snatchspider! He stopped in his tracks, hoping he wouldn’t be discovered, but the beast had already zeroed in on his musky scent. With specialized claws, specifically engineered to grasp the forest trees, the spider made for a formidable opponent.
It attacked! And although it had many, many teeth and many, manyer claws, Johnson was big enough to shove the monster off with his mighty bulk. The beast fled. If the spider had managed to grasp around his entire girth, Johnson might have been screwed, but he had gotten away with just a few bumps and scratches. He’d be red in the morning, be he made it out of the encounter just fine. The monster retreated back into the jungle. Back to bushwhacking...
The labyrinth of foliage was getting denser, but as he pushed his way through, Johnson thought he caught a glimmer of what looked like a clearing. Was the flora playing tricks with his mind? He didn’t know, but he had to find out.
“This must be it!” he hoped, and to his pleasant surprise he was right. There, hidden in the rough bush, he found it: a small hole, just big enough for him. He had found the entry point to the alien base. Dripping with a pungent smelling goop, Johnson was shocked that something like it could exist on this plane of existence. Everything about its construction confused him. The flaps and folds made no logical sense. It intrigued him. It called to him.
“I’m waiting...” The voice thundered through the sky. Or was it in his mind. Was the Alien Queen trying to disturb him? Didn’t matter, he wouldn’t be frightened off now. He had come too far.
This was where he needed to drop the load. But how was he going to get in? The entry was small and tight.
He got closer to the vestibule, and tried to crawl inside. It would be hard. Too hard. That’s when he felt it. The thick ooze had a lubricating property to it. His prodding had paid off. He could utilize this to his advantage. Putting on his latex safety suit, Johnson began his incursion.
Regardless of how hard he tried to squeeze his way in, the entrance just wouldn’t budge open.
“PUSH HARDER!” Commander shouted into his earpiece.
“Yes sir!” Johnson replied.
Moving the entrance folds aside, Johnson stealthily but forcefully entered the alien snatch.
“Oh there we go!“ gasped the Alien Queen. She seemed pleased...why? She wouldn’t stop with the mind games, but it allured him.
Johnson crawled his way down the tunnel. It was warm and tight, so tight in fact that for each push forward, he’d get pulled back out a bit. but it felt so good on his skin that he even considered taking off his latex suit. No, he needed it for safety and protection.
“OHHHHH!” shouted the Alien Queen!
“UNGHHHHH!” moaned the Commander.
Then they had sex.
The end.
Epilogue: Protected by his safety suit...Sloshing and wet, Johnson called for extraction. Load deposited, Johnson had successfully completed his mission and limped out of the Alien cavern, much to Commander Francis’ and Queen Miranda’s satisfaction.
Being airlifted out, it finally dawned on Private Johnson...this wasn’t an attack. This was a peace offering! and looks like it worked!