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Toxicity in the attitudinal lifestyle of people is something I take seriously. I was speaking to a person recently and she was so vulgar, she was verbally abused, provoked at the slightest nothing and there was so much toxic tendency emanating from her so much that I couldn't keep up with how her toxicity affected me psychologically. Suprisingly she felt this toxicity was part of her and she needn't do anything about it. She compared her toxicity to something entirely different; she compared it to one being "their original true self" and because of this totally aggrandising and selfish perspective she had she felt she owed no one change or an apology to spewing so much toxicity that affects even the closest of people to her.
Truth is, our emotion is as raw as fire and when we let it out through our speeches and behaviours, without letting it through our set perceptive filters it makes us lunatics without control. Deep down, every human has a certain kind of turbulence, rage regret and pain but then not everybody totally allows this turbulence to dictate their personality, no one should let it dictate who they are. It's not difficult to attain inner peace, it can only be challenging. Sometimes some people can be affected by traumatic experiences and sometimes they get eaten up so deep by things they can't even say it. But then because life, human: there's this social aspect we are exposed to, we should deem it necessary to not make everyone we met a recipient of our anger or rage.
Currently, i have a medical condition and it was genetically inherited and it of course threatens my life. That's are times I've lashed out in anger, pain and regret and this of course affected my psyche, I looked for situation and scenarios to apportion blames. But then as I got older, more refined and settled I changed. The anger and mental pain about my health condition dictated my personality for a long time but then I realised. "This isn't me", I'm not an embodiment of my physical self alone. I had to quell the battles I was fighting with my inner self and outer self. No one around me deserves to be a recipient of my hate for man's ignorance and cruelty. But then I show up everyday like nothing is wrong despite the fact that sometimes I despair at the fact that I have serious health issues. Some are guilty while many aren't. While life can be loathing it's also can be beautiful and this is the aspect I usually hold on to.
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The person that I spoke about in the first paragraph felt she was born toxic and was wired that way. She failed to accept that she can can change and be better. She felt change would rid her of who she is and she was of the opinion that anyone who truly wants her company/real-time relationship needs to accept her toxicity. Why was she this way? This was because she felt her toxicity is nothing to be worried about and part of her core self. Truth is, no one deserves a toxic attitude meted to them. I had to let go of her, her friendship or whatever we were even if it pained me. In life it's imperative to look inwards because that's where you can find answers to the most conflicting questions you have.
Conclusion.........?
We must understand that toxicity is an external force and never part of who we are. Who we are, is embedded in our core essence; unchangeable. Exclusively part of us by default and not caused by any beautiful or harsh experiences of any sort. So who we are isn't suppose to be toxic. No one is born toxicity so toxicity can never qualify for originality. Who we are is meant to be original but then no one should say *"toxicity or being toxic is who they are and can't change" there's a huge difference between our default self and the selves of different magma that we secondaryily become due to our various experiences in life. It's imperative to understand that toxicity is just a surface attitude and it can change us on the surface as well but then it's not who we are and we're bendable and change of course is of the essence.
Interested in some more of my works?
The Creator/Consumer: What Are The Metrics, The Diversification And The Similarities?
Understanding Egotistic And Ambiguously Confused People And How They Can Undermine Our Relevance. What Effect Can This Bring Us?
The Circumstances Behind Unwarranted Expressiveness; Are We As Humans Under-expressive Or Overly Expressive?
The Unique Spending Habit Of An Average Or Low Income Nigerian Earner.... (The Money Way)
A Sad Sud Song. (An Original Poetry)
Why Is It Difficult To Start Again When Your Chances Of Success Becomes Too Slim? (3speak Version)
My name is @Josediccus, a young Nigerian student who is a Vlogger, A Psychologist, Poet And Sports Writer/Analyst. I'm using my contents as a process to create shared meaning as well as create expressions through which people on/off hive can relate. I believe content is a process to be enjoyed and relished and I'm up for any collaborations in my field stated above. Cheers
@Josediccus, your brother-in-pen & heart
I'm hoping to reach more people who are broken at heart and spirit, so share on any platform or reblog