Heeeyho Readers! I'm back after a short break!
Anxiety is one hell of a matha facka distraction.
Nobody is at home and the street is quiet. There's a breeze coming from the sea and the sun is setting. I decide to sit down at the front yard to appreciate doing nothing. Five minutes into breathing and my back hurt. It's been sore the whole week along with light headaches and stiff neck. I know it's stress but can't identify the source. Inability to generate a solid income? Too much cellphone? Or everything altogether? Comes to mind the realization I haven't posted anything and that blogging IS my income. It bugs me. And now I'm hungry. And having an itchy arm trying to reach the cellphone that I purposely left on the sofa. That's when I realize my meditation attempt is not working.
Why is it so hard to meditate?
Modern life is full of addictions. Do you remember the last time you sit down to stare at the landscape without any distraction sucking your attention? I don't. In fact, the cellphone has become an issue in my life. Short videos on Youtube are destroying my time. I always thought I'd never fall for this trap. This is worrying when acknowledged by a guy that has no other social-media, and that understands how said medias are designed to bait us.
When we have so much information bombarding our brains it's hard to empty our minds. It's impossible to concentrate when we operate in 380V. Just today I heard a psychologist saying that humans are not designed to multi-task. But how can we avoid this frenzy when hours go by so fast. It feels time is shorter and there's no time to meditate. Supposedly, if we are meditating we are not completing something (like producing content), which defeats the whole purpose of relaxing.
“If you are depressed you are living in the past. If you are anxious you are living in the future. If you are at peace you are living in the present.” ― Lao Tzu.
We are so conditioned to technology, internet, computers, etc that we don't realize we live in constant alert. Modern life moves in a different pace. {Heyo to those who watch Youtube videos on 2x speed}. Meditating is about slowing down our brain activity, heart rate, and breathing. But damn, it's hard.
Fear. I get that gelid sensation rushing down my guts and now my body is releasing those weird hormones again. I give up my meditation attempt. After all, the economy is collapsing and I can't sit and meditate. I open my computer and decide to write about it yet I cant quite understand what's going on. What the hell is going on?
In the end, this post is more about a search for answers than a conclusion. It's a text to vent some struggles. I've been unable to do nothing comfortably. I'm also unable to write daily because my time is so mismanaged... let alone meditate.
Are you going through the same?
Let me know in the comments.
Peace.
Did you know that I have a book out? Check this!
Access Link: https://www.amazon.com/dp/6500272773?
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~Love ya all,
Disclaimer: The author of this post is a convict broke backpacker, who has travelled more than 10.000 km hitchhiking and more than 5.000 km cycling. Following him may cause severe problems of wanderlust and inquietud. You've been warned.
