I just commented on someones post that was experiencing depression and I felt that it was a good thing to share my own experience. I think most creatives at some point experience depression, perhaps most people. Yet it is so stigmatised to talk about it and still seems to come with it a sense of shame. Creatives probably experience it very easily because we are very internal, inward people who explore our emotions on a deep level, from a very young age, hence the need to then express onto canvas, music, acting etc.
I had severe depression in my second year of university, it was so bad I just didn't know how I could get through, so I do understand how people feel, even though for me now it is somewhat of a distant memory. I will share my story in case it helps anyone who is currently experiencing it in any way.
In my first year of uni I was partying, had tons of friends was out all the the time and was the absolute life and soul of the party, then suddenly it hit me like a rock. I didn't want to leave my room, I didn't want to go out, it felt like there was a huge dense weight over me all the time, nothing bought me any joy, of course at uni most socialising was at parties and clubs so I never went, then people stopped inviting me then I felt even more depressed that no one invited me. I could not see outside my bubble that I was the one who was seemingly anti social so people stopped bothering with me, you don't really think straight when your in such a state, you don't observe how you come across. I remember eventually going to the doctors and she diagnosed me with mild bipolar and gave me anti depressants. I went home and I never took those tablets, maybe somehow the recognition had given me the will power to decide I WAS going to face it and get through it without tablets. I remember going to the gym,I was determined to get healthy and turn my life around on my own, I would feel numb, I was doing the actions on the cross trainer but it's like I was an empty shell. Around this time I found photography, suddenly I went off in nature on my own taking macros and bit by bit I re found my joy, from then on it was only uphill. Some days would be worse than others but on the whole after that first push everything started to get better slowly.
I also began to balance out my highs and lows. Spiritual work and meditation etc and manfulness helped this further over the years. Now I never get depressed. A) because I learnt how to deal with my emotions through a spiritual path and B) because I follow my heart now and I am quicker to just let go of things and move towards the things that make me feel better. Of course that can still take time but I am quicker. I think I just wasn't being honest with myself that at university partying all the time and drinking alcohol just wasn't me, it wasn't feeding my soul at all. I was just doing it because everyone else was and that was how to be popular. Once I honoured myself and I focused on photography, nature etc I began to come back to myself.
I noticed that in a way the depression was a good thing, it was telling me I was not on the right or highest life path for myself, I was not doing the things that were authentic to my soul, I was not doing the things that enriched and nourished me properly. Thats the way I see depression. Of course I am not a doctor, just someone sharing my personal depression of how I got rid of ever feeling depressed in life.
I do also think mindset is important in life, if we always focus on the negatives they can build and spiral, writing a daily gratitude list is also a huge bonus and finding the things that you are grateful for and bringing those to the centre of your day. Raw veganism / clean eating I think is also a huge factor. The gut is directly connected to the brain so what you put in your stomach influences the brain more than we can ever realise.
What ways did anyone else deal with depression in their lives?
Image by myself.