Therefore, shall a man leave his father and his mother and shall cleave unto his wife, and they shall be one flesh? KJV: Genesis 2:24
When it comes to the aspect of marriage, the man has to leave his parents’ house and cling with his wife. This showed that marriage is a union ordained by God since it has been said in the Bible.
Marriage is so important to the extent of a man clinging to his wife. We get married for different reasons, but mostly to help one another and to share the same thoughts and the same mind. As husband and wife, you are one connected in one flesh. So, there is room to discuss issues bordering the union. This is what they have to come together to share their ideas and thoughts. My husband is my companion, and I have taken him as my one and only love. We are one connected by marriage. We are one connected by love. We love ourselves dearly and care for ourselves especially. Whatever I say would be deliberated in, and I'm unison, we would come to conclusions just to find the perfect solution.
Different cultures have different types of marriage rights. The way they carry out their marriage rights is superb in their own way of life. I have seen my culture as the best when it comes to marriage. Most cultures have ways of charging the groom's family handsomely, but mine is so different from others I have seen so far.
Wedding ceremonies are a kind of reflection of cultural identity and values. When you are joined together by the groom's and bride's families, then you will be seen as one big family. It signified unification and also purity. Since you have been joined as one, most of the things you usually do before now would be terminated just because of the culture.
In my culture, marriage is seen as a right which a man and woman must carry out to mingle in the family of men. We always do this when it comes to marriage rights. The man has to get the woman's consent whether to proceed to see her family or just to remain as a boyfriend and girlfriend. If the girl I'm questioning is accepted, there is now the room to do a proper introduction. The introduction means getting to know the family of your woman, and they would also know you in return. They would have to access you if you are capable of taking care of their daughter or not.
One thing is for sure: the man will be entertained, but any drink the family places on the table, the man must place double. Not just the drink alone, but any item to entertain the man, he must also bring double of it. Let's say if the girl's family wants to tax the boy handsomely, it would be shown in whatever they are placing on the table to entertain the boy.
After this act is done, the boy's family, which may include his father, mother, and friends, or some of his family members, will demand the bride price list. This would be given to them, and they would be relieved home to fix the date for the ceremony if needed, or would fix it on that same day. But primarily, it would be another meeting or a message that would be sent to the girl's family indicating the wedding date. This same date would be related to the community king. In my clan, we called the King Movie, and if the community is just a sub-community, the king is called Odio-Ologbo. He will be present on the said date for the marriage, but most of the time, he does send his delegates to represent him. Ovie does not leave his house except something urgent happened in the community, and so his delegates have to be sent to represent him.
The next step is to prepare for the marriage properly. This includes paying the pride price and other tasks that need to be carried out.
Something to remember is the eldest brother of the girl and the eldest girl of the bride. The groom must dim it fit to see them, or else no marriage would occur. They are the heart of the marriage. Also, the family of women and men had to be seen. The groom will buy a bag of salt for the family women to share, while a bottle of gin coupled with kola nuts will be presented to each of the men in the family. If this is done, then the marriage will go on smoothly, but if not, no marriage will be held.
When this is done, the next step is to buy the bride's father clothes (wrapper and the traditional shirt), including a walking stick. In my culture, the bride’s father must use a walking stick. That’s how my culture walks. The groom would also buy the bride's motherwrapper and the woman’s traditional shirt.
The bride, on the other hand, would sew a traditional shirt and tie a waistcoat, which would be the same match with the husband to be. The husband-to-be would also tie a wrapper.
In terms of food, the type of food being prepared is called Ogwuo soup. This is a traditional soup that is used to lead the bride to her husband’s house. Meanwhile, the groom has to buy a goat for the marriage to be successful.
The truth of the issue is that, after all the money being spent, the only money needed to pay for the bride price is just $1,500 ($0.882). This amount is less than $1. When he’s done with the payment and settling the Ovie or Odio-Ologbo’s people, he has to be given a marriage certificate.
Modernization is a factor when it comes to traditional influences. Right from the days of the old, the amount for bride price is just 3 Kobo, equivalent to 0.03 Naira. And the way we dress now is not the same as the old, although a little change.
Marriage in my community is not a child’s play, as when you are united as a husband and a wife, the wife has nothing to do with any man out there. She has to be glued to her husband no matter the situation. When she mistakenly steps out to meet another man, she becomes forbidden in her family as well as the family of the husband. She can no longer cook for the husband until a ritual is carried out, or else she would be greatly affected, and if it is not said on time, her children may suffer for the sins of their mother. It is forbidden to mingle with another man once you are married. Also, no man shall cross your wrapper or sit on it. This is also forbidden.
My culture in terms of marriage is a powerful one.
This is my entry to the #ladiesofhive contest #219