There are some things we can tolerate when it is being done by outsiders or people who seem distant to us and not among our close circles but it becomes hurtful in a special manner when this same act is done by someone or people we hold so dear to us. It may be friends, families or acquaintances but surely people we didn't expect would go as far as hurting us with what they do or say.
Unfortunately, this may be unintentional acts but at the end of the day, we feel hurt no matter the reason behind what they did even if it was in our own concern and they were probably looking out for us.
There was a friend of mine like a brother whom we met through a friend while I was in school, you know? All these friends of friend but we ended up getting so close that we hardly go a day without texting one another and even though we were of different gender, we maintained boundaries and this made our friendship last long until he decided to start this uncalled behavior.
So I think with a good intention of his, knowing my twin sister is married, my mates are married (to him in his own thoughts), he would always pressure me with questions through calls, text and any available means for him, asking me when I'm also getting married.
I count it as good intention because I feel like he was looking out for me but the process he took in going about this was what eventually made it abusive.
Doing this in my DM, responding on every slightest wedding post of people I make on my Whatsapp status and asking when is mine, I still counted it normal and we would chat it out till we digress to another point of conversation.
However, on this fateful day, he went overboard when I made a post that wasn't even related to wedding on a web2 platforms and GBAM! he commented
You are getting old!
You're a flower
Go and bring husband home
I dont know why but I felt hurt that day cos I was like why on earth would you bring this to the public and attacking me like this. It's none of your business though but because I had tolerated it from the start and had not reprimanded him when he started.
I didn't respond to the comment though and didn't go to his DM that very day just to avoid any form of conflict as I would end up feeling bad if I end up saying anything bad. Later on, days after when I knew I was off the emotions of what happened, I went to his DM on Whatsapp and complained about what he did which he actually explained that it wasn't intentional and all that and at the end of the day, we laughed it out and went over what happened.
That was how I controlled the abusive situation and still maintained my friendship because he was only concerned but was doing it wrongly.
I'll be dropping my 🖊️ here on the Ladiesofhive community prompt
Thanks for reading through 🤗
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