I don't mean to come off as insensitive but let's be frank; closure really is overrated. It's a popular idea that people keep passing on that annoys me because you don't need it.
You wait an entire season to hear someone state the reason why they don't want you anymore or to have the both of you talk about how much you hurt each other and why it's best you move on with your lives - you don't need that dear, time is the best healer.
Most times, closure does more harm than good
I can't count the instances friends would come back from having the 'closure talk' with exes and be worse off than they left. It's like throwing salt on an open wound - and you willingly chose that? How's more pain going to hasten the healing process?
Everyone is entitled to break-up how they know how..
...and to heal how they know how. If your ex is better off not having closure, that's fine! The talk about how if closure isn't had, you'd always be left wondering what happened and that'd leave you messed up - hellloooo? You were in the relationship too, you didn't sense anything going wrong? There were no red flags? Truth is, we just love to lie to ourselves to protect ourselves and while that makes sense, it doesn't make sense too 😂🤣
Closure turned blame game real fast!
It's super easy for these talks to turn ugly real fast and then it becomes a case of 'it was your fault' 'you started it's 'you made me cheat' 'you never liked my mother'. Too much unnecessary drama if you ask me.
Do you really want closure or you need your genitals to be closer?
😂😂 This one is always funny! I've got a couple of friends who come back from their closure conversations, excited! Excuse me Miss Ma, why are you giddy? "Oh we talked it over and then had make up sex" lmao honey are you sure y'all spoke at all? Or you let your hormones do the work 🤣. Of course you can imagine that this never ends well - they're back to being heartbroken in a couple of days and definitely not craving any more closure 🤣🤣
Real talk?
When you're looking to get closure, you expect complete honesty from this person you once gave your heart to - but that's hard to come by. What if they tell you what you want to hear just so you can be gone? What if they don't want closure? What if they're just pathetic liars who can't be bothered with honesty?. There are a lot of things to consider but real talk? Find a way to move on that doesn't involve conversations with your ex; the longer you think that's what you need to move on, the longer you hurt.
Warm up to the idea of not seeking closure from an ex; then you'll find more ways than one that'd help you heal ❤️
Love, Amy.