"ONLY LOVE CAN HURT LIKE THIS"
IMAGE IS MINE
The first time I heard this song was a couple of months ago. To think that this song is a decade old and I'm just hearing it in 2024. Actually, I'm glad that I heard it when I did because the song, as catchy as it sounds, is toxic and very misleading.
If I had heard this song earlier when I was going back and forth with emotional trauma, I do not think that I would have healed. The thing is, there is something about pain that is actually intoxifying and there is something they say about misery loving company.
Over the years, from my teenage years up to my adulthood, love has been so misinterpreted that people actually do not know what it means to be in love or how to even love. I will always say that once it starts to hurt, then it's no longer love.
At first when the song popped up from my youtube music app, I was vibing to it. The beat, the singer's voice, everything just went down well with me and I quickly picked up the lyrics of the song and was singing along side. It got really exciting for me having my airpod on, blocking out the rest of the world and singing at the top of my voice. I did not really pay attention to the lyrics and at first it felt right. But after listening to the song a couple of times, it hits me and I questioned, "does love really hurt?"
Listening to the song and watching the music video we see a confused woman who is not sure of what she's feeling, hence the conclusion only love can hurt like this. I guess attributing pain to love gives some sort of consolation and excuse to still hold on to something that is known deep down to already be dead on arrival. After all, it's been widely speculated that love is tolerance and like the singer said love is torture. These are some lies that have been sold to us and the entertainment industry are the amplifiers.
Most times people get infatuated and other times, it's just lust but then for the reason that people love to live in denial, it's actually very easy for them to switch these things because it gives some sort of false reality and coping mechanisms to deal with all the hurt and pain. I once had someone come to indicate interest in marrying me but we are of different religious faith. While I had no problem with what he identified with, he had problems with mine and tried manipulating me into leaving my religion to join his as the condition of marriage. He even played his father's card telling me his father is an elder at his place of worship and if he should marry outside his faith the father will be stripped of his title.
I really did like him and that would have graduated to love but everything died when he said my religion is a problem but then if I love him well enough to want to be with him, I'll quit my religion for him. I just smiled and I immediately made up my mind that whatever we were doing was dead on arrival. But not to be overly forward, I stuck around, to see everything till the end when he asked me to choose between my religion and him.
What solidified my mind to choose my religion and not choose him was that, if I liked him well enough to allow him maintain his faith, I expected the same treatment from him because it's only fair.
It is a general rule to treat people how we want to be treated because then there is no room for hurt. Basically by default, no one wants to be hurt and everyone in their right frame of mind, wants to be treated fairly and just.
Going back to the song, it reminds me everyday what I do not want from any relationship or friendship and once I start to have doubt, once I start asking questions, the moment I start feeling hurt and heartache, that's my cue to abandon ship and swim to shore no matter how far that we might have sailed.
Video deo was gotten from YouTube