Lovely ladies of Hiveland, I say good evening to you all and I hope that you are doing well, feeling happy, healthy and creative where ever you are and whatever you are doing.
I have been busy wandering down memory lane of the past couple of days as I organise and scan my old photos.
It has been both entertaining and painful as I see so many photos of family and friends, some still here and some gone and as I have been back in our 6th strict lockdown by myself again, I as always, have things to do- projects to starts, continue on with, complete as I don't like to waste time- I don't like to waste opportunities like these ones to be able to do what I want and need to do without the daily grind of work getting in the way, however this one has been a bit different as I'm not as motivated to do the things I need to do, I'm not as creative and colourful as usual, I feel a little bit lonelier than usual and I'm really, REALLY missing my Mum.
I actually hate to waffle on about Mums, cause there's so many people out there that have never had one. There's also so many people out there that have had bad Mum's. And there's so many Mum's that should never have been Mum's, but I'm going to dedicate this post to the most important person- women, in my life, my mum- hopefully resting in peace.
I was really missing Mum before I started going through the boxes of photos and now I'm finding things that I've never seen before and being reminded of the things that I regret not saying to her, not doing the things I should have done for her. Not really seeing her for the women- the human being that she was.
And this is The hardest lesson to ever learn and it has come way too late.
@ladiesofhive/ladies-of-hive-community-contest-43
Among the things that I have found was 2 pages on a little notebook with a list of girls names that she was thinking about while her and dad were waiting for the adoption application to be processed.
My names. For me.
And then just yesterday I found this poem that she wrote, though to be honest, I don't actually know if she wrote it or not or copied it from somewhere, but regardless, it's written in her handwriting in pen- which is another thing I want to have of her.
And this is another thing I found hidden away in a box and obviously she bought it at some stage to give to me...
And this is a card that I gave to her on her 50th Birthday and although I'm sure that I read it and it resonated with me then, I wish that these were words that I could have read and reminded myself to tell her every day, as many of these words resonate with me even more know, when I can't repeat them to her.
But then on the other hand, I shouldn't have had to be reminded.
It should have come naturally.
Each line resonates with me for a different reason though-
"I often take the time to reflect on you... well no, certainly not enough anyway and not enough did I acknowledge her as a women in her own right.
An individual human being with needs and wants.
Often times, I am so caught up in my own life. I am so caught up in my own life.... words fail me.... But guilt and regret incessantly gnaw away at my heart and soul because there is never a truer statement written.
And although we give our Mum's these cards for their birthdays and Mothers Day, we need to say these words and more to them every day, genuinely mean them and really show them how incredibly grateful we are and just how much we love them.
And it is the lack of thought, realisation, acknowledgement and ultimately the lack of genuinely caring, loving and appreciating MY mother, the women who gave up everything that she ever wanted to do, for me and that is by far the hardest lesson that I have ever had to learn and it has come far too late.
So I'd like to invite 
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And unless otherwise stated- ALL photographs, are all my originals taken by me sometime in the past decade or so somewhere in my travels and as such, ofcourse they are subject to all international IP and copyright laws and I may have already used them for my own commercial purposes here https://www.redbubble.com/people/CHOCOLATESCORPI/shop And here https://fineartamerica.com/art/chocolatescorpi, So please ask first if you want to use any of them as we wouldn't want you getting into trouble. Thank you 😊
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The Ladies of Hive- your own crypto world girl gang full of fun and suprises, so click on the link to find out more about this brilliant community of caring, companionship and creative contests, such as this one....@ladiesofhive/ladies-of-hive-community-contest-41
