When did we, as women, realize that the mirror is more than just an object we use to look at ourselves?
I know it sounds like a slightly silly question, but if you think about it long enough, you will come up with more than one uncomfortable answer. I do not know a single girl, woman, or lady, regardless of her sexuality or preferences, who does not suffer from social anxiety or anxiety linked to the concept of physical beauty. In some societies this proportion may be higher or lower, but it is always present in our perception as women. From childhood, in almost every sphere of our existence, and even as a measure of social status, just to make matters worse.
Looking at ourselves in the mirror is a habit absolutely all of us have. Who could say otherwise? However, what I have learned over time, through experience and internal self confrontation, is that the idea of self esteem a woman develops will always be proportional to the amount of social pressure she has been exposed to. With this statement, I do not intend to give moral or ethical lessons to anyone. It is, rather, a personal reflection and the development of a deep idea that came to mind when I saw a group of Gen Z girls, between eighteen and their early twenties, walking through a mall and worrying about exactly the same things that my grandmother, my mother, you, and I have worried about.
Do I look fat? Will I be attractive enough for him or her? I love this dress but I do not know if it looks good on me. I could go on listing intrusive thoughts and ways of externalizing the small torments we expose ourselves to as women of all eras and social classes around the world, but I think the point is clear enough. In a world where social roles still seem to be assigned according to the genitals one is born with, we must learn to shape change. It cannot be that the generalized dissatisfaction of an increasingly cruel world becomes the norm.
And that we, on top of that, contribute to deepening the small sparks of insecurity and the stabs inflicted by beauty standards on women, simply because we did not stop to think about how wrong our behavior is. Women, whoever you are reading this. The acceptance of beauty does not come from some random coach with questionable arguments and hippie jargon about love and energies. Nor does it come from a cruel, obsessive, despotic gym trainer compulsively counting calories. In my opinion, it is the result of many factors. It is understanding that feeling good is an act of individuality and also a personal construction.
Not so long ago, beauty standards came from fashion magazines, celebrity gossip, or the canonization of a single model of the human body. Just one type. Have we ever stopped to think about how oppressive and senseless that premise was? What I want to express is that the solution to the constant insecurity and lack of self worth is the conscious confrontation of what makes us feel bad as women. Intelligence and our capacity for reflection are wonderful allies, not an internal debate meant to display and validate our insecurities as if we were living an episode of Lizzie McGuire, hopefully you get the reference LOL. The mirror shows what we are. We must reflect who we are.
