Love doesn't pay the bills. I know. When you're resting, you feel you should be doing something (cue anxiety and insomnia) and when you're doing something you either feel like you should be doing something else or resting (cue anxiety and exhaustion).
There is so much noise out there about sacrifice for success, and "sleep when you're dead," and pay/ work now (physically or economically) and rest later....
But that is one thing I can assure you.... we are all destined for rest eventually..... but if you don't take time out from the rat race.... you'll be resting 6 feet under, far sooner than you'd like and long before those investments mature.
"Sleep when you're dead."
I hate this phrase. Sure. It was great when I was 24 with a double shifts worth of waitressing tips tips stuffed into my bra and my car key strapped around my ankle and into my sock, while pole dancing on the bar at 4am....
But now I'm a mom: freaking busy mom of three. And I work and I have dreams and I'm trying to be perfect at all of it, and you know what... its exhausting.
And you know what the FIRST THING IS to suffer?
The relationships with the very people I love the most. What the hell am I doing it all for if I'm so anxious and exhausted that I can't bear to spend time with my kids, or take an hour or two out for date night?
What is the point if all I can do when I get a free moment is bingewatch series and hide under my fluffy purple blanket and try to medicate the $%$@ out of my anxiety? What am I teaching my kids about how to cope with adulthood?
Sure, we all need a duvet day, and I wish we all, by law, were entitled to one mental health day a month.... but we're not. In fact, unless you have private medical health cover (which means you can just pop into your local GP without worrying about coughing up the R700 consultation fee for a sick note) here in South Africa, just getting a sick day off is a nightmare. Mental health in the work place is still not given nearly enough attention or recognition and those of us who suffer with disorders or who are on the brink of burnout, are not taken seriously... until it's too late.
@ZakLudick and I both worked extremely hard to reach goals and build a happy and secure home for our children last year, and we smashed through so many of them, BUT by the end of the year, we lost track of when last we'd had a date night. When last we'd spent alone time together without the kids. When last we'd spent quality time with the kids and when last we'd spent quality time alone, to actually rest our brains and bodies.
By the time Christmas rolled around I was finished. And so was he. When both parents are in a state like that, silly little things annoy the guacamole out of you and you get upset about the most ridiculous things.
Taking time out to spend with your loved ones is far more valuable than just an added bonus or a nice thing to do when you find a gap in the chaos. It is absolutely ESSENTIAL. A non-negotiable.
Otherwise, "sleep when you're dead" will be coming sooner than you think. And there will be no time left for regrets.
Love while you can, live while you can, and yes, reach for those goals, but don't let adulting stress and ambition blind you to what really feeds your soul and actually enables you to be more productive and successful.
Schedule those date nights. Stick to them. Switch the tv off sometimes during dinner so the family can talk. Take time to sing in the car together. Embrace those moments. They are finite, after all.
